Why not stab the slab yourself?

Miss Phosphorous (also known as Shazna) writes:

'I'm reading Kierkagaard's 'Either/Or'. One story I loved in the aesthete's 'Diapsalmata' is this one:

'According to Lucian (Phalaris I,11), Phalaris, tyrant of Agrigentum, roasted his prisoners in a brazen bull; reeds had been placed in the nostrils of the bull in such wise that shrieks of the prisoners were transmuted into music'.

What do you think of that? The story is used as a simile as the aesthete describes how a poet is one of those tortured prisoners who feels great anguish, but his lips are so fashioned that the moans and groans which pass over them are transformed into ravishing music.'

Wayne Connolly (XH9DA00@Hornet.mmu.ac.uk) writes: 'Your suggestion that sex is often just the nostalgia for the longing for sex reminds me of some themes indulged by one of my favourite painters, Robert Lenkiewicz...

Robert Lenkiewicz has spent many years outraging public opinion in his adopted town of Plymouth. The first picture I remember seeing reproduced with a scandalised commentary in a local newspaper consisted of a naked man with his intestines groping through the air towards a woman - the object of his jealous affection. She was looking away, unconcerned. Then there was the Bruegel-like portrait of a hermaphrodite Christ being raped by his mocking accusers, the sketch of the artist masturbating, the portrait of his dead mother...

The greatest controversy was caused, though, by a stunt rather than a painting. Lenkiewicz had befriended an old tramp, whom he named Diogenes as he had apparently once lived for a time in a barrel. I recall seeing the old man hanging around the studio. I remember some heartbreaking portraits for which he had sat as a model in an exhibition on the theme of old age.

When Diogenes died, Lenkiewicz let it be known that they had an agreement by which he could dispose of his friend's body as he saw fit. Accordingly he had arranged to have the corpse embalmed and encased in transparent resin to keep as a momento mori or, as he described it, a "giant paperweight". Everyone, needless to say, was outraged. I recall that environmental health officers even raided the studio, insisting that the body had to be diposed of properly for sanitary reasons. They found nothing, of course.'

Aphasia387@aol.com writes: 'I was told this story by a friend who has been a 1-900 chat line operator for almost two years. She said about every 6-9 months she recieves a call that is obviously more than just a fantasy. This was one of those times. Apparently she received a phone call from a 55 year old mortician who had been having a secret relationship with a 15 year old girl. One day he discovered his girlfriend had died (causes unknown) when the girl arrived at his mortuary. In a state of anguish, panic, and desperation, he began having sex with her corpse. Afterwards, he was horrified to discover he had left bruises on her thighs, vaginal area, etc. Not knowing what to do, not thinking straight, and with the person responsible for dressing the corpse arriving in three hours, he phoned a 1-900 chat line. He said he was sure he'd be caught. And as he went through a very technical description of the procedures a corpse goes through in preperation for a funeral, his voice raced from calm detachment to frenzied despair. After 10 minutes, he hung up. My friend never found out what happened. Whether this story is true or not (although my friend insists it is), I thought it would make an interesting contribution to Cork Slab.'

Matt Jacobsen (legrotto@aol.com) of New York writes:
'For what it's worth... The front, spine and back-cover of the eighth issue of Josefina Ayerza's "Lacanian Ink" (a publication of the Lacan Circle of New York) features a photograph by David Kelleran of a woman with her legs spread open (one leg on the back cover, one leg on the front cover and her sex on the spine). The title of this photograph is: "Fifty dirty cocks in this hole and you want me to act like I own it?" For some reason I found that to be incredibly amusing and thought I would share it with all of you. To get a copy of the newest issue (9) of Lacanian Ink, write to: Lacanian Ink @ 133 Wooster Street, NY, NY 10012 US'

Harold Robinson of Oakland California (robinson@sirius.com) has chosen this excerpt from the syndicated sex advice column 'Ask Isadora' in the San Francisco Bay Guardian, April 12, 1995:
'Q: I am a healthy 30 year old male. My girlfriend and I enjoy a happy, active sex life. Recently we discovered a new twist we both enjoy. We bake an 8-by-10 foot pepperoni pizza in sections, assembling it on our living room floor, which is covered with sheets of black plastic. My girlfriend goes into the living room, shuts off the lights, and activates a life size animatronic figure of the Pope that stands at the end of the room. The Pope's eyes light up and he begins blessing the enormous pizza and my girlfriend, who reclines thereon clad only in slices of cheese. I am outside the room at this point, and the doors are closed. I can hear the theme from "Rocky" being played within as I wait, dressed as a huge clove of garlic. When the music reaches its climax I burst through the door and hurl myself upon my girlfriend and we copulate madly at the feet of the robot pope while I shout, "Poperone! Come on, Tony! Not a phony! Poperoni!"
Anyway, my question is this : could garlic pizza sauce be hazardous to human genitalia? Could you recommend any particularly arousing brand?A: Now really, those of you who accuse me of making up the letters that appear in this column, would a sane professional women concoct a letter like this and risk offending Catholic readers, Rocky fans, and vegetarians alike? Not I.'


Nan Goldin interviews Japanese photographer Nobuyoshi Araki in a recent edition of Artforum. Araki, whose 100 books mostly feature photographs of semi-naked Japanese girls strung and trussed, is asked if he ever has sex with his models. 'Almost always,' he replies. 'A photo shoot is very erotic; it's part of the atmosphere.'

Who's cool?

Beck, Tricky, Blam!, Yotsuya Simon (he made the sculpture you can see on the E mail page), Copi, Kahimi Karie, Mike Alway, Alexander Bard, Stina Nordenstam, Olivieri Toscani.