Pantaloon



When I Was An Animal



When I was an animal I acted pretty badly
Yet you somehow treated me so well
I jumped on you in bed, sank fangs into your flesh
Your breasts were often lunch and your house was my hotel

I covered you with semen, did not control my urine
Licked you in the face because I like a salty tongue
Chewed your iPhone cable, left poo on the table
And when you had guests in showed my genitals and bum

And yet you didn't punish me, you fed me and you loved me
What happened to the way that we began?
When I was an animal the stars glittered above me
There's just the ceiling now I am a man

When I was an animal I didn't have a job
Didn't give you children or do the washing up
Now you give me hell when the bathtub overfills
Charge me actual money for my share of the bills

When I'm creeping back to being an animal again
You inform me I'm a bastard and a pain
You say that I'm responsible, I'm a human being
My days of being an animal are well and truly gone

I walk on my hind legs now, brush my hair and part it
What happened to the way that we began?
When I was an animal I took so much for granted
Now I wonder who or what I am

When I was an animal you fed me and you loved me
What became of the way that we began?
When I was an animal the stars glittered above me
There's just the ceiling now I am a man



Burning The Flag



How many sharkies does Strawberry Nose got to pony and poke in a week?
And how many reefies has Trumpet the Hash got to smoke till they run screaming out of his street?
It's so new when they make your mistakes for you now and they stuff you with chicken fat egg
Rippling with deathing gown gasoline, darling, you should've been burning the flag

It's nobody's business in places so vicious what low company I can keep
So keep your nose out of my incubus and never tamper with me when I'm falling asleep
Because all of the garbage you people have dreamed of is spilling through holes in my bag
And all of the drowning and keeping-them-downing, you should've been burning the flag

Killers and dentists and similar mentalists never can sleep in the night
And Trumpet the Hash had a clash with the law but the law - surprise! - turned out to be on his side
So cherish your horrible selfishness, seeking your pleasure you hump in the arms of a hag
Making your horrible meaningless babies, you're better off burning the flag

Violent philosophers tell us it's better to slaughter the innocent void
And cynical laughter comes crashing through decor erected to voodoo the boys
In a killing machine a mechanical cockroach snatches your passport and screams
In the thousand year Reich of the meanest of meanest you're better off burning the flag

Killers and dentists and similar mentalists never can sleep in the night
And Trumpet the Hash had a clash with The Claw but the law - surprise! - turned out to be on his side
You cherish your horrible selfishness, seeking your pleasure you hump in the arms of your hags
Making your horrible meaningless babies, you're better off burning the flag

The Beckmanns



My brother is a brat, a wank stain in a hat
My sister is a strumpet in a nun
And Dad is on the Hock, naked on the dock
Who says making money isn't fun?

The Beckmanns could be normal if the city wasn't mad
But who could stop the rot when it began?
Now Father is a fat lady in a hat
And Mother is a gentleman

My cousin, he's a singer, popular with fleas
My uncle's been in prison for a year
And I've got the disease, my brother likes to tease
Of walking off with stuff that isn't there

The Beckmanns could be normal if the city wasn't mad
But who could stop the rot when it began?
Now Father is a fat lady in a hat
And Mother is a gentleman

The lightbulb starts to swing when the neighbours stagger in
And they begin to bugger and to fist
Father plays the sousaphone and everybody groans
It soon has Mother drinking like a fish

The Beckmanns could be normal if the city wasn't mad
But who could stop the rot when it began?
Now Father is a fat lady in a hat
And Mother is a gentleman

The mongrel's got the runs, up there on the sun
Which probably explains why it is brown
And Father is a fat lady in a hat
And Mother is a gentleman

Nobody's impressed when the actors get undressed
We simply cannot understand the fuss
Cos everything they do is made of sand and glue
They're parrots doing parodies of us

The Beckmanns could be normal if the city wasn't mad
But who could stop the rot when it began?
Father is a fat wank stain in a hat
And Mother is from Amsterdam

Mother's swigging schnapps and Father's playing craps
With the creep we call the Fisher King
And Jesus is at large, standing on a barge
Heading up to Hamburg for the spring

The Beckmanns could be normal if the city wasn't mad
But who can stop the rot when it's begun
Father is a fat bugger in a hat
And Mother is a gentleman

Good Time Coming



There's a good time coming for the human race
Eleven billion humans with a smile across our face
If we could just stop eating, stop our wars and crime
Stop making our babies, at least for ten years' time
Sure, it may get bloody for a while
But smile and there's no limit to the fun
If not, on the other hand, we're done

There's a good time coming, lots of stuff to do
We'll find a cure for dysentery, stop dying on the loo
Drinking dirty water, fighting for the shade
Chasing the mosquitoes from the garden to the glade
If we can act collectively instead of for ourselves
I really see no limit to the fun
If not, on the other hand, we're done

Oh there's a good time coming, with nothing to resent
Equality for everyone except the 1%
The full pursuit of happiness, especially for the sad
What madman in his right mind wants the things he's always had?
If we can act in fairness instead of out of greed
I really see no limit to the fun
If not we are obviously done

If we can work for everyone instead of just for pricks
Thinking with our heads instead of with our dicks
Step out of our vehicles, straddle mountain bikes
Ride them up the mountains and go for mountain hikes
Standing in the European sun with no obvious limit to the fun
If not we are obviously done

Oh there's a good time coming if we can get off drugs
Forget about celebrities and murderers and thugs
Stop watching television, swigging from that sewer
Start listening to philosophers who sided with the poor
If we can trust the government to fix what's going wrong
There's no logical limit but the sun
But if not, flip us over, we are done

There's a good time coming, especially for the young
The ones who'll really reap the harvest that's to come
Of course there'll be backsliders and grumblers on the way
But it will all be beautiful upon that sunny day
If we can turn back deserts like good old King Canute
We'll get our just desserts, what super fun
If not, in our desert, we are done

Oh there's a good time coming, everyone agrees
When the North Pole is inhabited and Hell begins to freeze
When prejudiced policemen with 3D-printed guns
Rattle them at random like amusing kettledrums
If we can pull the finger out and get our ass in gear
I really see no limit to the fun
But if not, we are fucked and we are done

If we can turn back deserts like good old King Canute
We'll get our just desserts, what super fun
If not, in our desert, we are done

Glacier



In my end is my beginning, in this night is our delight
The ice cream of your flank seems to invite a bite
In my end is my beginning, in this night is our delight
The ice cream of your flank seems to invite a bite

The ice storm, when it came, caught us by surprise
In the palace carved of ice our situation became grave
Caught up in a frieze along the architrave

It doesn't really hurt, it's just it lasts forever
And it's cold and no-one calls where the frozen waterfalls
Meet the glacier

In my end is my beginning, in this night is our delight
The ice cream of your flank seems to invite a bite
In my end is my beginning, in this night is our delight
The ice cream of your flank seems to invite a bite

The ladies of the pavement with immaculate comportment
In their ornate apartments lie behind us now
The sudden rush of freedom with nothing to believe in
Is a comfort somehow
No future ahead, just the firing squad
Along the architrave

It doesn't really hurt, it's just it lasts forever
And it's cold and no-one calls where the frozen waterfalls
Meet the glacier

In my end is my beginning, in this night is our delight
The ice cream of your flank seems to invite a bite
In my end is my beginning, in this night is our delight
The ice cream of your flank seems to invite a bite
In my end is my beginning, in this night is our delight
The ice cream of your flank seems to invite a bite

Picture me alive, and picture me contented
When I take you in the snow it's just what you deserve
Just what you resented
And now we're two reliefs, mannered in a frieze
Along the architrave

It doesn't really hurt, it's just it lasts forever
And it's cold and no-one calls where the frozen waterfalls
Meet the glacier

It doesn't really hurt, it's just it lasts forever
And it's cold and no-one calls where the frozen waterfalls
Meet the glacier

In my end is my beginning

Little Paper Humans



Kind is what you need to be but you don't know it
Mind is what we need to see but you don't show it
Blind is what you seem to be
Grinding down humanity
Little paper humans stretching to infinity

Living is a series of choices, here come the voices
To challenge your beliefs, replacing all your truths with their lies
The blind leading the sighted, open up your eyes

Blink, the situation is so tense you have to do it
You think that blocking out the night will get you through it
And so you drink your future all away, sink tomorrow for today
Little paper humans, stretching to infinity

Living will continue to test you, here come the pests who
Try to bless themselves profiting from others' pain
The blind leading the sighted, open up your eyes again

Try the politics of me or be a hater
Cry your slogan "Bi today, gay later"
Free from the politics of class we rediscover it at last
Little paper humans, stretching to infinity

Living is a series of choices, here come the voices
To challenge your beliefs, replacing all your truths with their lies
The blind leading the sighted, open up your eyes

Kind is what you need to be but you don't know it
Mind is what we need to see but you don't show it
Kind is what you need to be but you don't know it
Kind is what we need to see but you don't show it
Mind is what we need to see but you don't know it

Brexochasm



In the error of the Brexochasm
In the terror of I-told-you-so
I met a Vietnamese Parisian garments dealer
With a beautiful soul
Finally fulfilling my potential
Success arrives belatedly
I'm seeing in the end that mere survival
Is serenity

Living in a neo-Weimar
They read my visa in the dark
But all that now remains of our great union
Is a question mark

And I love you like the Entry Ion
Though I'm colder now than Sherlock Holmes
As I forensically examine Brexit wounds
We live in interesting times

Sprawling on a Muji beanbag
In an apartment I at last can call my own
Although we may be wandering through a wasteland
We are not alone

You were everything I ever dreamed of
You got what you deserved as well
And now we're living in the place Devoto prayed for
A bright and clever hell

Nobody requires these heroes
Ranged along the borderline
Things we don't believe in made us zeroes
In this worst of times

Now we have to live without Bowie
And Sylvia Kristel is dead
And I've grown even older than myself
But I always was ahead

Citizens of neo-Weimar
You can read our visas in the dark
But all that now remains of our great union is
A question mark

And you're everything I ever dreamed of
But I may be running out of time
At least the world and I have that in common
We are partners in crime

In the terror of the Brexochasm
In the error of I-told-you-so
I met a Vietnamese Parisian garments dealer
With a beautiful soul

Escalator



As I was climbing on the stairs
The stairs climbed me all unawares
When language stops dividing me
The horse I ride is riding me
And now my house is living in me
And now my food is eating me
Your language is mistaking me
But I'm so woke it's waking me

And now my confusion is a kind of clarity
I won't let your languaging get the better of me

There goes the fool on top of it all
Later he'll befall a fall
Clever people stay down low
Where there's no place lower to go
As I was climbing on the stairs
The stairs climbed me all unawares
The jokes you make keep laughing at me
The things you break keep breaking me

Structures all around us have their uses all implied
But I won't let that escalator take me for a ride

The things I own are owning me
And now this song is singing me
Why, when no-one's making me
Something is mistaking me

And now my confusion is a kind of clarity
But I won't let that escalator escalate me

Structures all around us have their uses all implied
But I won't let your languaging take me for a ride

The Fisher King



Failed endangered heffalump
Gallumphing round the old gazump
Between the king my brother's wreck
And the king my father's death

Don't tell him he is the Fisher King
Don't tell him he is the Fisher King

Since I got wounded in the cock
This our land begins to rot
Instead of fixing your mistakes
I sit fishing by the lake
All the little Parsifals coming to fix me
Burn their beasts and offerings and men in effigy

Something sweet is broken inside of me
Something was the compass that guided me
Some great spear has knackered the groin of me
I can't feel the dagger of ecstasy
Surely there cannot be something wrong
Surely I am not the Fisher King

Don't tell him he is the Fisher King
Don't tell him he is the Fisher King

I lost the magic soup tureen
That resurrects the dead
And so I asked my followers to sever my head
My head kept talking endlessly
Kept everyone amused
All the way to Wimbledon
With modish racist views
All the little Parsifals attempting to cure me
Burn their beasts and offerings and men in effigy

Something sweet is broken inside of me
Something was the compass that guided me
Some great spear has knackered the groin of me
I can't feel the d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-dagger of ecstasy
Something sweet is broken inside of me
Something was the compass that guided me
Some great spear has knackered the groin of me
I can't feel the dagger of ecstasy
Have I now become the Fisher King?

Osip Mandelstam



Comparing their fingers to worms
Oh my God why, you are making us nervous
And you could be made to reform
You could be sent for community service
Just when you're doing so well
You wave a red rag at a bull
Don't be a cautionary tale
You don't want to be the next Osip Mandelstam

I'm telling you this as a friend
You're showing your silhouette over the parapet
They have an ironclad mind
You'll only hurt yourself trying to dismantle it

So don't be a cautionary tale
Wave a red rag at a bull
Be a vainglorious fool
You don't want to be the next Osip Mandelstam

Comparing their fingers to worms
Oh my God why, you are making us nervous
And you could be made to reform
You could be sent for community service
Just when you're doing so well
You wave a red rag at a bull
Don't be a cautionary tale
You don't want to be the next Osip Mandelstam

I'm telling you this as a friend
You're showing your silhouette over the parapet
They have an ironclad mind
So don't be a cautionary tale
Wave a red rag at a bull
Be a vainglorious fool
You don't want to be the next Osip Mandelstam

Rootless Cosmopolitans



Rootless cosmopolitans the hubris makes you hoot
You watch us travel round the world
And even follow suit
But times have changed, and mother
Standing at the garden gate
Calls us home for dinner
With the nation state

We dreamed we could live anywhere
And some actually did
Taking flats in Paris, Brussels and Madrid
Learning other languages, with other points of view
It became, back in the 90s, something anyone could do

We took it all for granted, that expansion of the cage
Global, multicultural, the catchwords of the age
But, scapegoated by populists, our freedoms go to hell
Because if we can do it, so can immigrants as well

We dreamed we could live anywhere
And started moving in
To beautiful apartments in Lisbon and Berlin
With other cosmopolitans with other points of view
Showing local people that was something you could do

Rootless cosmopolitans, it's so great to be free
You listened to the travellers' tales
And started to agree
But hubris requires nemesis, the guardians of the gate
Call us in to dine again with the nation state

Rootless cosmopolitans, pretension makes you hoot
At elitists and precarians under your jackboot
But scapegoated by populists the whole thing flew to hell
Because if we can do it, so can immigrants as well

Goodbye Mr Quin



And there will come a time
When the will have been time
For the will to define Mr Quin
In the meantime let's not
Worry whether the plot
Turns out well, turns out ill
Mr Quin

For today you're alive
And feel you'll never die
It may never arrive
Mr Quin

Until then everything
Is so strange, Mr Quin
Live each day, live each love
As it comes

Bright day, endless night
And the cry of the owl
Secret hollow, an expensive place to die
So goodbye Mr Quin
We are strangers on a train
And the mirror is now cracked
From side to side

And there will come a time
When the world in your mind
Will have known in its bones
Mr Quin
Until then everything
Could be pork, could be string
Live each day, love each love
As it comes

In the main everything
Is so strange, Mr Quin
Live each day, love each love
As she comes

Double clue, wooden words
Endless night, passing birds
Paperchase, king of clubs
Rush to die

Bright day, endless night
And the cry of the owl
Twinkle twinkle
You are sinking, little spy

Double clue, wooden words
Endless night, passing birds
Paperchase, king of clubs
Mr Quin

The Italian nobleman, polonium 210
Twinkle twinkle, Mickey Mouse
Mr Quin

Bright day, endless night
And the cry of the owl
Secret hollow, an expensive place to die
But goodbye Mr Quin
We are strangers on a train
And the mirror starts to crack
From side to side

Bright day, endless night
And the cry of the owl

The Nightingale



A nightingale is twittering in the hearth
If you have ears
If you disturb the peace then
The police get very fierce
And in the creases of your blanket
There lurks a face, if you have eyes
The jailor shoots you on the chase
If you're a jailbird flying from that place
(Good luck to him that tries)

The perfume of the East lives in a tree
And giant mountains reach to touch the sky
Like mother's lips
A breeze will touch your hand
A dish will taste to you like children's sand
The worries of this world are crushing you
And yet our earth is such a friendly star
Come tell me what your problems are?
You wish to be rich?
Well, isn't that what you are?

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