Smudger



January



The stranger is arriving
A stranger I will leave
This January is stranger
Than the strange things you believe

You speak about commitment
The joy you'd like to know
I wish that I could help you
But my path gums up with snow

I can choose my direction
My timing not at all
I stumble through the shadows
Along the dry stone wall

I drag along my shadow
Through landscapes dark and queer
The feral dogs all growling
At the feral deer

You cannot hear my footfall
Your white blinds block the view
Perhaps I'll send a message
To say I thought of you

A stranger is arriving
A stranger I will leave
This January is stranger
Than the strange things you believe

Stop the Body



Control him here
Control him there
Give him the shakes
Give him the fear
But he's living in ecstasy
The defiance of ecstasy
Whatever they do you see
Can't stop the body

So touch him here
So touch him there
To give him the joy
To show you care
So he's living in ecstasy
The luxury of ecstasy
Nothing they can do you see
They can't stop the body

They can touch him here
They can touch him there
They can give him the shakes
They can give him the fear
But he's living in ecstasy
The luxury of ecstasy
Whatever they do you see
They can't stop the body

So bring the torture
So bring the disease
Biological warfare
Biometric police
But he's living in ecstasy
The defiance of ecstasy
Whatever they do you see
They can't stop the body

Disappear



I wish I were an icicle
Dripping in your lap
I wish I were your bicycle
Not just your saddle bag

You ask me what it's like to be
A prodigy unknown
It's being an actor acting
For a camera with no film

And the camera pans the party
And nobody is here
Everyone is hiding
In the atmosphere
Surprise! they say
And happy birthday
Then they disappear

Gatecrashing the walkabout
I point up to the stars
Visible in daytime
Like the lights of oncoming cars

Converging on the terminus
Swarming to the sea
People who know algebra
People who are theoretically free

They turn away the tennis star
They welcome the unkind
Their lives are all so harmless
You wish that you were blind

Shaking out the cornflakes
Into the Chinese bowl
While you read about the zero
Where everybody goes

And the camera pans the party
And nobody is here
Everyone is hiding
In the atmosphere
Surprise! they say
And happy birthday
Then they disappear

Orchestras



Where are you now my problematic fave?
Oozing or just snoozing, snoozing in your grave
In the age of information you escaped the great palaver
Another gargoyle strangled by your slave
Oozing and a-snoozing in your grave

So great to hear that you became world famous in the end
No-one got the memo though, my bulbous-headed friend
Intuitively late for your blind date with Madame Fortune
These orchestras are dead

That rush for inequality, how was it ever clean?
The bowing and the scraping was so monstrously obscene
The lurch-creep of the puritan, the stink of burning bras
These orchestras are dead, these orchestras are dead

But long live the unborn! The baby yet-to-come!
Long live the pinky paupers and the awful gits of dawn
Delightful gifts are coming that we've yet to understand
These orchestras are dead, these orchestras are dead

A world-defeating dildo to the end
Just in time for such a fine catastrophe my friend
Seething with frustration at your third inoculation
And a green electric scooter's all they send
A green electric scooter's all they send

And no-one ever pesters you for interviews today
No muscle-bulging knuckleheads to hold the crowds at bay
Just autistic incel bedroom boys who clutch their heads and say:
"These fingered air apostrophes mean everything today"
Each courting his catastrophe in his AirBnb

But the rush for inequality was never ever clean
The bowing and the scraping that left us sick and green
The creep of the obsequiots, the stink of burning bras
This orchestra is dead, this orchestra is dead

But long live the unborn! Long live the yet-to-come!
Long live the pinky paupers and the awful gits of dawn
Delightful things come raining down we've yet to understand
Now the awful star is dead and we are free to be the fans
Of every fucking nothing thing at all
These orchestras are dead

Bartleby



So here you come again, updating terms of service
You give yourself ten extra ways to burn and bloody and hurt us
Cynical? Well I should bloody hope so
Woke? Well I should bloody cocoa
You bet our bloody lives on winning then you bloody lost
I'm not your bloody scrivener to count the bloody cost

But I mustn't be a Bartleby
And say I'd rather not
I pre-agreed, you did the rest
And sure, you lost the plot
You screwed things up so splendidly
I really have to laugh
I pre-agreed to everything
You did on my behalf

Adamant that you can still deliver everything
Chomping in the chicken bar while we sit chewing skin
What you lot have got it's not
What you have ought to got
I know what bloody decent is and this is bloody not
You bet our bloody lives on winning then you bloody lost
You're not my bloody saviour carrying your cross

But I mustn't be a Bartleby
And say I'd rather not
I pre-agreed, you did the rest
And sure, you lost the plot
You screwed things up, and screwed me down
You really had a laugh
I pre-agreed to everything
You did on my behalf

And there is no lawyer sly enough to talk you off this hook
The bloody time has bloody come to throw the bloody book

Bartleby the scrivener
It really costs a lot
Staying on the same page
With an age that's lost the plot
You bet our bloody lives on winning
Then you bloody lost
I'm not your bloody scrivener

Supervillain



No Aston, no Martin
No mountain to ski
Surrounded, your England
By Scots and the sea
Just Scots and the sea

Your sky only ceiling
Your lives only one
As clouds part, revealing
Your supervillain
Your supervillain

No bow ties or sharp suits
You dress like a slob
Still killing occasionally
For majesty and God
Her majesty and God

Banal non-republic
A shaggable joke
No ingenious gadgets
They make too much smoke
And we're all too woke

No gold in your fingers
No moon left to rake
So little remembered
From your greatest mistake

Midnight Sun



My old man's a wag, you see
Walking in the sunshine even in the nighttime
Though he's dead he talks to me
And this is how the daisies grow

How bad can death really be?
Walking in the sunshine, even in the nighttime
I don't take it seriously
This is how we get things done

When the world walks off a cliff
Walking in the sunshine, even in the nighttime
It only falls when it notices
Falling in the midnight sun

I'll haunt the fuck out of history
Walking in the sunshine, even in the nighttime
Make sure they're discussing me
Banging on a big bass drum

As another great wave comes crashing in
And another crisis pushing up the prices
Please enjoy Enoxaparin
We can only wait and see

Bad girl to misbehave
Walking in the sunshine, even in the nighttime
Someone's dancing on your grave
Down the Kurfurstendamm

Tick, tick, the devil's in a halterback
Pulls you by the pigtail, sets you on a big sail
Tick, tick, the devil's in a little boy
If you saw that little donkey go

My old man's a wag, you see
Walking in the sunshine even in the nighttime
Though he's dead he talks to me
This is how the daisies grow

How bad can death really be?
And another crisis pushing up the prices
Let's not take it seriously
This is how we get things done

Friends



She copied the key to my flat
Gave my stuff away
I had to go down to the charity shop
And buy it all back again
She took my passport, set it on fire
And now I can't go anywhere
So here I am under her scullery window
Offering up my prayer

Don't do this again to me
Don't do this again
I do respect you, yes I do
Even though you're a horrible harpy
Don't do this again to me
Don't do this again
We were supposed to be friends
Do friends do this to friends?

She's down at the ATM
Using my card, she remembered the number
Up at the first alarm, when I got up my wallet was gone
Now she's buying her crack
Down at back of the Lidl urinal
Where is her pride? Where is my card?
Why has it all gone wrong?

Don't do this again to me
Don't do this again
I used to respect you, yes I did
Even though you're an obvious junkie
Don't do this again to me
Don't do this again
We were supposed to be friends
Do friends do that to friends?

She mounted a massive attack
Now she's invading the Poles
People still want to defend her
She only wants to take back control
Doesn't cut very much ice
Yes she has boundary issues
But tell me why, back in the day
She feigned to be ever so nice

Don't do this again to me
Don't do this again
I still believe in you
If only because of the shit we went through
Don't do this again to me
Don't do this again
We were supposed to be friends
Do friends do that to friends?

Don't do this again to me
Don't do this again
There is no fun in eternal recurrence
Don't let it happen again
Don't do this again to me
Don't do this again
We were supposed to be friends
Do friends do that to friends?

Smudge



Well my poor old todger is rogered to smudge
Like a battered and blue Pushmi-Pullyu
I once had a block refuse point blank to budge
When he parked his red bus up my studio

The things I could tell you about that brigade
They were gruntfuttocks all to a man
I said "Get thee to a nunnery!"
They came back with Italy
Cheap at just seventeen grand

Well the boot made of meat is on my other feet
As I remarked to Napoleon on Elba
That dwarf was so bored that his statue was sore
From abseiling up the walls of his Zelda

One evening he said as he lay on her bed
"If I don't capture Capri by Monday
You can rip me in two, take both to the zoo
And feed me hind legs to a donkey"

Oh the snorkel is soapy, my ankles are ropey
My aunt has no hope of a spleen
I'll lend her a fiver if she and her driver
Come back with the head of the queen

It is worse than I thought, they have used her to snort up
The ashes of lady Godiva
Those blithering fools! It's not Britannia who rules
These days more likely it's China

Oh the snorkel is soapy, my ankles are ropey
My aunt has no hope of a spleen
I'll lend her a fiver if she and her driver
Come back with the head of the queen

Well a simpleton's face is an utter disgrace
Or so I was taught the varsity
Then again, in the main, these were men made of rain
With the skimpiest mental capacity

And my poor old todger is rogered to smudge
Like a battered and blue Pushmi-Pullyu
One evening he said as he lay on her bed
"If I don't capture Capri by Monday
You can rip me in two, take both to the zoo
And feed me hind legs to a donkey"

The Coffee Professor



I spend each day drinking third wave coffee
I'm probably drinking too much
Now I've got the jitters and my walk has got so wobbly
I have to use a medical crutch, you see
My hand shakes badly, I rabbit on madly
Saying things no one really wants to hear
Everyone who knows me starts to wish
I would stop drinking coffee and start drinking beer

For beer a man makes to shaddup

Und coffee's a commodity, coffee is a curse
Coffee follows monetary flows
You can learn so much about injustice
When you follow how a flat white grows
Capitalism was invented in a coffee house
It doesn't surprise me at all
The idiot excitement, the pointless intensity
But wait! Is coffee also how it falls?

So Joe bring me one cup of coffee
I must die until he does
Third wave, any wave, who gives a monkeys?
I just need that buzz

I know all the trials of torrefaction
The processes of processing the beans
Fair trade, provenance, equally crucial
Is the critical chemistry of milk steam
Also the importance of pouring very slowly
A barista with theatrical flair
Does it with a drama verging on cruelty
Tantalising every customer
Keeping all eyes pinned on him

Becoming attractive to women
And also men

Und coffee's a commodity, coffee is a curse
Coffee follows monetary flows
You can learn so much about injustice
When you follow how a flat white grows
Capitalism was invented in a coffee house
It doesn't surprise me at all
The idiot excitement, the pointless intensity
But wait! Might coffee also be how it falls?

So Joe bring me one cup of coffee
I must die until he does
Fair trade, any trade, who gives a monkeys?
I just need that buzz

Influencer Village



ONE-TWO-THREE-FOUR!

With this filter I is hot
Influencer village
You've got hedgehogs, we've got gods
Everything is image

Influencer in the know
There is no song, there is no song!
Four jolly maids all in a row
Don't sing along, don't sing along!

Watch me now one million views
Smashing all the mirrors
Click like, thumbs up and subscribe
Influencer Village

I am sleeping while you go-go
I am happy just being so-so
All this sunshine rains on my parade
I don't need to envy you
And I don't need one million dollars
I will roll my sleeves up and be gay

This Aperol Spritz it tastes like shit
But I am not a lonely girl
My motivation is that it's
Important not to fail

I can work in my bikini
Nude is mega-fashionable
On Islands off of Africa
Fly Braniff International

Sally Bowles, Sally Bowles
Sponsored now by Skillshare
Adverts every fifteen minutes
Bitcoin and palm oil

Watch me now one million views
Smashing all the mirrors
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Influencer Village

Mirror mirror on the wall
I smash you with my perfume bottle
Your reflection rains on my parade
Beauty needs no cemetery
Beauty needs no beastly envy
Let me smoke my sleepy pipe and fade

ONE-TWO-THREE-FOUR!

Totentanz



Now we dance a totentanz
A totentanz for sex
A totentanz for pleasure that
The modern world forgets
Future humans may agree
Medievals did it best
That is if in future there are
Any humans left

We're frightened to get frisky now
Afraid to get it on
Not much sex in movies now and
Not much sex in song
At the Library of Chastity
The Story of the Eye
Has been withdrawn
It's only porn by
Dirty Georges Bataille

Readying our totenrobots
Rising to the fight
Here comes the Anti-Sex League
And the Festival of Light
We dance the end of lust
And uncomplicated pleasure
Chivalry is dead
And chastity is treasure

Button up your corsets now
How the tables turn
We became the puritans
We used to spit upon
The jealous god must be mad
For now we dance in hell
And the sybarites and sinners
They all dance as well

Pesky Blighters



The kitchen munchers
Such lino crawlers
Come pirouetting through my room
As if they owned my room
Perhaps they do

Of parasitical persuasion
Cartwheeling towards my pantry door
As if my chamber was for them a world
Of interesting gloom

Paperback eaters
Are pesky blighters
With whom the flies who fly around
In city and in town
Cannot compare

(A doom on yourself, a doom on the world)

Bergreise



Auf der Matrix des Oberheim
Kirchenglocken in der Norderheim
Diese Bergreise ist eine Odyssee
Ohne Atem

Die erde unser Leiterplatte
Und die Pferde einem Augenblick
Alle zeitgenossischen Probleme sind abgetan

Das Urteil kam in lateinischem
Recht, Kanus in der Limonade
So vulgar wie ein Lotto, Lottogewinn
Lottogewinn

Kirchenglocken im Oberheim
Exklusiv fur die Tiere
Diese Bergreise ist ein glucklich
Lottogewinn
Lottogewinn

Peter Grimes



Great Bear in the trees
And the Pleiades
Turning like a funfair ride
O my missing twin
Where do I begin
To tell you how I turn inside

Two of us were born
Then there came a storm
Then there came a horn
One of us was lost at sea
In the pandemonium
Of the non existent sun
Now I cannot tell
In the rising swell
If the brother lost was me

Hullo Peter Grimes
Hunted for your crimes
To your agonistic lair
They say you killed a boy
Why would you destroy
Anyone so young and fair?

Why would you enjoy
Simply to destroy
Your apprentice boy
When God is in the sky
In the pandemonium
Of the non-existent sun
Great Bear in the trees
And the Pleiades
Turning with your destiny

A second murder now
Anchor from the prow
How the hell hounds growl for you
The boys they said you killed
Both are living still
The only one who's lost is you

I will make a pyre
Of money and retire
Money and desire
For Ellen, your abandoned bride
In the pandemonium
Of the non-existent sun
And on the day I die
You will die as well
For you are living here inside

Glitter on the waves
Poison in the glade
Hanging from a rope of trees
Now I cannot tell
On the rising swell
If the fisherman was me

Pandemonium
A non-existent sun
Now I cannot tell
In the rising swell
In the pandemonium
Of the non-existent sun
O my missing twin
How do I begin
To tell you how I feel inside

Night Clinic



When you pretend
You want control
In the end you just lose control
And down's been down so so long
It smells like love

In the night clinic
All alone
Night and day and I don't know
I don't know

I just pretend I want control
I'm quite content to lose control
And up's been up so long
It smells like down to me
Like down to me

In the night clinic
All alone
Night and day and I don't know
I don't know

Friendly World



To an earth windy with winter winds
You came naked as a child begins
You lay freezing, not owning anything
And a woman wrapped you in a nappy

No one's angry, just oblivious
You are unknown in the busyness
No one sends a limousine for you
But a man does take you by the hand

This world doesn't owe you anything
No one stops you from leaving
Did you manage to, like the children do
Get someone to weep along beside you?

From an earth windy with wintry winds
Staggering, wounded by scars and sins
Nearly everyone
Nearly everyone who lived has loved this world
When they chucked some clods of earth upon them

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