Thought For The Day
My Epitaph


I've just been told that my cornea has perforated. On Monday I have to go into hospital for a corneal graft. This is a fairly routine operation performed under general anaesthetic, but being a bit ghoulish, a drama queen and a total coward, I am already starting to think about what will happen if I don't pull through.

Just in case, I want to leave you, my dear readers, with my epitaph.

I see it as a couple of paradoxical haikus engraved on a Japanese mask of opaque perspex. On one side (convex) it should read:

Pretending to put a mask on his face he actually took one off.

On the other side (concave):

Pretending to take a mask off his face he actually put one on.






Person Of The Month
Liane Balaban
Aged 18, Liane Balaban has just played the lead in New Waterford Girls, a film directed by Allan Moyle (best-known for 'Pump Up The Volume'). This film, shot on Cape Breton, will be premiered at the 1999 Toronto Film Festival. Liane is sure to become the 21st century's answer to Audrey Hepburn and Winona Ryder. I'm a bit reluctant to share her with you, actually, but here she is. Because, as Devoto once put it, 'I desire you for ever... and everyone'.

Index