Time Out Notes
In which I attempt to spot something characteristically Postmodern on every page (except advertising) of the current issue of Time Out.
3: Sarah Kent says 'Show me the Monet'
4:Claude Lelouch's 'A Man And A Woman' -- with its unforgettable Francis Lai score -- brings glorious French kitsch chic back to our screens
5: New York DJ / Producer Armand Van Helden is adamant that the way he makes house music -- cut 'n' pasting familiar samples with upfront beats -- is ridiculously easy
6: Carenza Lewis, [architecture TV show] Time Team's answer to Lara Croft...
7: A porn video found in an outhouse in Plympton, Devon... was called 'Lesbian Lavatory Lust'. The JCB driver is still trying to date it.
9: London pigeons should be renamed Winged Rats. This may well be the only way Italians in Hard Rock Cafe jackets will get the message
10: Broadcaster Trevor Phillips, another ex-NUS president, recalls how different it was during his term of office from 1978 to 1980. "There was never anything more important than grants and fees: you could always count on getting 70,000 on a demo".
13: Wimbleon FC's ebullient owner, Lebanese businessman Sam Hammam...
14: 'Shakespeare is there to be ripped apart. I think he can survive any form of positive reinterpretation' Actor Joseph Fiennes
15: 'I love [Stoppard's] idea of Shakespeare plagiarising. Copyright laws hadn't begun, so it was a great idea to steal. But who doesn't? Consciously or subconsciously. I'm plagiarising, borrowing and manipulating ideas from all over. Nothing is holy.' [Joseph Fiennes again]
16: 'A Clockwork Orange, Midnight Cowboy and Carnal Knowledge were X Rated and there was no problem releasing them, but now the studios won't touch such a film' [James Toback]
18: The list, collated from numerous websites, is a thesis on modern culture... heavy on dog-worming sachets, tampons and condoms
19: Rebirth [the software version of Roland's TR909 and TB303]. Imagine Tomb Raider plus creative input plus fantasies of stardom
20: I nip into Virgin for a free ten-minute internet session and McDonalds for an excellent free London map.
23: Whether it's trendy or stigmatised, secondhand will always be the greatest source of cheapness
24: Skiwear and '70s trousers are the deal at Cenci
25: A gem of a retro clothing and record store. Upstairs is a mix of secondhand records and CDs, with a healthy glut of '60s psychedelia and '70s prog rock. Downstairs houses flamboyant, loud and daring clothes from the '50s to the '70s.
26: In the Sanrio corner you can snap up cute characters Hello Kitty and KeroKeroKeroppi, the frog on everything from stationery to cutlery sets
27: Shell suits are afforded the same space and respect as Paul Smith trousers
28: Somehow Edwardian lace dresses and ruched, satin '80s party dresses sit happily together
29: We loved the fluffy leopardskin slippers
30: Retro and vintage clothes... interesting global dishes
33: What happens to the clothes nobody wants -- those rags that missed the boat from kitsch to retro to vintage to antique?
34: We know Red Or Dead designer Wayne Hemingway simply loves rummaging around car boot sale bric a brac and judging by the company's new collection, that's where he got his inspiration from
35: Jo Sinclair's T Shirts are printed with photos of her favourite architectural landmarks in London -- namely Centrepoint and the BT Tower
39: Kate Winslett on hippy trips to Morocco: 'They were all doing it then, Lenny Hendrix and all that lot'
40: Free training to demystify new technologies, particularly aimed at those who work in the arts
41: Holiday On Ice: Evolution -- Darwinian theory meets the triple salchow at Wembley
42: An absorbing look at the history of cinema and TV leading the visitor from 2000BC (Chinese shadow plays) to the latest in optical disc technology
43: New permanent interactive exhibition about the changes brought about by containerisation, roll on / roll off ferries, and multi-purpose terminals
44: The bizarre collections in The Museum Of's first incarnation include snails, soft drinks cans, monsters, rejection letters, snowstorms, postcards of zoos, ceramic electrical insulators and Dolly Parton memorabilia
45: A new presentation of the Royal Ceremonial Dress Collection using the latest fibre-optic technology
46: Two hour private bus tour with expert commentary, taking in 101 sites of rock'n'roll interest in the West End, Camden, Ladbroke Grove and beyond
47: It seems that nothing is untainted by digital media, not even oil on canvas
48: Bombarded with images of horror, our compassion banks are overloaded. In Periton's work all that remains is the homogenised gloss of media make-believe
49: On video they morph into one another -- an uncanny meld of expressions and racial type. Are they computer-generated figments of the artist's imagination?
50: This feeling of dislocation conveys the traveller's alienation, and the loss of cultural identity afflicting 'developing' countries
51: Jack Black will be teaching techniques to beat stress, relax, get motivated, and develop a positive mental attitude
52: Emily Prager's revenge on Nabokov's Lolita... follows the contours of the original pursuit and conquest from the other side... how do you satirise satire?
53: The Larry Sanders Show... is so complex and self-referential that it quickly becomes a snake eating its own tail.
54: What Makes A Classic A Classic? Roy Hattersley correctly loves 'The History Of Mr Polly' and correctly hates 'Rasselas' -- 'unreadable now and probably unreadable in 1759'
55: Disney's Broadway musical... transfers two-dimensional characters, uninspired dialogue and a bastardised storyline to the stage
57: Just when you thought Daft Punk's domination of clubland could not be more complete, back they come again with another take on the dirty disco sound
58: Dj Vibes even drops a track that samples prog rock synth bore Mike Oldfield's Tubular Bells over a skull-shattering beat
59: David and Russ spin Duranies and Blondie and Madonna and Kylie on the main floor at this poptastic '80s night while John plays '70s and '80s trash pop in the crypt
60: A new venue for Kevin, John and DJ Downfall's ironic mosh-up where they raid pop's rich toybox for a genre-crossing celebration of sing-along tracks from '70s disco, '80s pop, indie dance and hip hop
61: Good Times '99... '70s dress 'strongly encouraged'
62: Organic drums meet electronica
63: ...mix 60s R&B with mad Moog tunes, funky soundtrax...
64: keep the night shaking to New Romantic and early 80s synthpop
65: a Mancunian epileptic, a black lesbian, a posh poof.... should be able to find something to offend everyone
66: Weekly recordings of a BBC Radio 5 Live show which aims to 'strip bare the week's news'
70: WHen it comes to dreaming up particularily nasty ways to off your enemies, the feuding feudal lords of medieval England could teach even Quentin Tarantino a disreputable trick or two
71: a classical Greek tragedy as flamenco dance drama
72: combining and recasting period comedy... clever pun and play
74: the kind of slushy romantic montage you never see any more outside of spoofs and commercials