Hypnoprism
In the era of the hypnoprism
In the wake of the collapsing pound
I met a beautiful Algerian travel agent
With a horror of sound
I'm a little misunderestimated
I can measure up to nothing much
Give me half a chance I am a crippled tiger
And you are my crutch
I've been following a dismal gollum
Like a pierrot follows Columbine
And there's going to be a horrid harvest
When the water turns to wine
And I love you like I love the wriggly
And you lick me like a spotted dog
You're my velvet azure from Algeria
And we bone in the fog
Acts of love on astrakhan carpets
In the apartment of Salvador Dali
With a white imperial bastard colonist
Who looks a lot like me
I'm a little misunderestimated
I will give you back your piece of cake
I've only eaten one bite of it
Anyone could make the same mistake
If I give you too much information
Defriend me on the next bardo
I have a horror of communication
But I so long to know
I've got a spotty case of alopecia
I've been howling like a haunted dog
And I've been having sex in prison
Like a bone in the fog
I'm at home amongst your sombre reptiles
Basking in your garden lair
And I like to speak the words the tortoise uses
To outfox the hare
And there's a scent of candlewax on pinecones
And you look a lot like Sylvia Kristel
And I'd like to call you Princess Tenderloin
Or simply Mirabelle
I'm a little misunderestimated
And I'm older now than Erza Pound
Don't check your wallet there's nothing in it
I'll see you around
The Charm Song
Depending on what you want to get
In life there are many etiquettes
The way to get rich is to stitch people up
The way to get laid is to hang around drunks
But there's one thing you must tell yourself
One principle that comes before all else
It's something your grandfather knew
Lack of charm can be fatal to you
I once knew a pig from Brazil
Who was ritually slaughtered then killed
The same thing could easily happen to you and me
If we lack the disarming knack
Of being totally charming
I once knew a backbiting bitch
Who told lies that made my eyes itch
The reason that she's living still
Is that bitch was too charming to kill
Yes it's something your grandmother knew (that ho)
Lack of charm can be fatal to you
Datapanik
My computer broke down today
I'm going to throw my old friend away
Cos the hard disk crashed when the write head parked
In a quite calamitous way
And I won't get the data back
And I haven't backed anything up
I've lost a hundred gigs of memories
This whole thing's so fucked up
All my emails to the girlfriend
Who later disappeared
The videos of sex with her
I still watch to get off
Goodbye my old friend
My Photoshop experiments
With dogs with human heads
My huge harem of pregnant redheads
Lying with open legs
The endless masturbation fodder
The Instant Messenger chats
So goodbye friends
My computer broke down today
It's a personal tragedy
There's nothing much left of a human being
Without his memory
It's like I'll never have a life again
It's like I'll wander on an endless plain
Like my brain and face have been erased
And my life has been in vain
All the books that I was writing
All the albums half-composed
My photographs of holidays
I'll never take again
The cracked software from Piratebay
Before the pigs cracked down
My fuckbuddy list no longer exists
So goodbye friends
Evil Genius
Oh what fun it is to be
An evil genius
Best friend of Beelzebub
And Epicurus
Old Macdonald had a farm
Totally devoid of charm
Face it now your other friends
Look really tedious
Oh what fun it is to know
An evil genius
Welcome to my secret lair
My evil palace
Evil statues, evil fountains
Evil sun on evil mountains
Have an evil glass of wine
Made with malice
May I introduce my wife?
Evil Alice
Women are attracted to
The evil genius
Probing for his inner being
They find his penis
His boudoir philosophy
Is such seductive sophistry
The girls will drink his Kool-Aid
When he leaves for Venus
Oh what fun it is to love
An evil genius
Who will set you dreaming in
A world that's dreamless?
Who will earth your discontent
Your stubborn meanness?
Old Rasputin had a beard
The Etruscans disappeared
Circumstantial evidence
Of evil genius
Oh what fun it is to be
An evil genius
Who will inherit the mantle of
The evil genius?
Who will take the world over
When he leaves us?
Who'll drag the world up to his level
The pedestal of subtle evil?
Don't believe in groping God
Or groupie Jesus
Oh what fun it is to be
An evil genius
Old Macdonald had a farm
There is no cause for alarm
Oh what fun it is to be
A total genius
So turn to Beelzebub
Or Zoroaster
Evil's just a way of life
So there's your answer
Criminal insanity
Is such a lovely energy
Oh what fun it is to be
An evil genius
Mr Consistency
I say the opposite of what I say
They call me Mr Consistency
I climb to the bottom of the top of the hill
And I open my shirt cos I felt a chill
Well I walk on the ceiling and my hair is grey
And I love the girls so I must be gay
I'm incredible, baby I am a dwarf
And I walk so tall that I touch the earth
You're beautiful and you know that girl
You're the ugliest girl in the whole wide world
I say the opposite of what I say
They call me Mr Consistency
I'm an intelligent guy and I hope to find
Some fool who'll overestimate my mind
And you're the most fun I have ever had
Every minute with you is a drag, drag, drag
And you're beautiful, baby you're so young
With your hair so grey and your life so done
And I want to make a move so I make to leave
Going to catch the last train so make a bed for me
Consistency, I think you'll find
Is the hobgoblin of small minds
Well I hope it's not long till you take my ring
Baby how long is a piece of string
But you're beautiful and a one-off too
There's an army out there baby just like you
You're so beautiful that I'm sorry for you
And I hope I don't mean what I really do
I'm a Rum-Tum-Tugger and a human being
With one eye blind and one eye seeing
Well you can walk through the world and walk through the sea
But you'll never not find a girl like me
Before and after, chalk and cheese
They all look the same when you're on your knees
My words are slippy like a snake of soap
On a rope of hope, I'm strong as oak
I have no side, I tell no lie, cos I am such a sketchy guy
I've got a head for heights so I don't look down
And I love this town so I hate this town
And I wish you well cos I hear you died
You're hot as hell you frigid dyke
You're beautiful and here you lie
Too dead to live, too cold to die
Well I like to have a drink so I'm giving it up
And I want to eat so I'm throwing up
And I want you now and I want you here
Baby some other time, maybe next year
I say the opposite of what I say
They call me Mr Consistency
Deliverance
Who's that car in your driveway?
I left a message on your phone
Who's that fool visiting you
When you said you were alone?
I'll smash your rhythm box
You think I won't dare
I'll never be back
I turn to go
This is your deliverance
I've been living in a box
Can't take it any more
You played me for a fool
You're dancing on my own grave
I chose to die
But there's a place for me
Far over the sea
And it's in my mind
I turn to go
I turn to go
I stared at the sun
You have no soul
You'll turn to stone
My heart is cold
I'll leave this town
(He'll leave this town)
I'll start again
(He'll start again)
You think I won't dare
I'm walking away
Just watch me now!
(Just watch him now!)
You'll pay the price
I've stared at the sun
You have no soul
My heart is cold
I'll turn to go
I'll walk on by
I'll smash your rhythm box
You think I wouldn't try
I'll never be back
My heart is cold
I'll turn to go
Your tongue is forked
I'm not your clown
I'll leave this town
I'll start again
Now goodbye goodbye girl
You're easy to let go
You've made love with Bill and Ben
Jed and Jeff and Joe
Red fluorescent cocktail
I smell their sperm on you
I'll scorch the ground
I'll scotch the rumour mill
You never pulled weight
You never had faith
You'll miss me when I'm gone
Just wait and see
I'm out like a shot
How could this happen to me?
I stayed in line
I turn to go
Who's that car in your driveway?
I left a message on your phone
I'm not your clown
You have no soul
You'll be sorry one day
You showed no faith
Just watch how it's done
My heart is cold
I turn to go
I stare the stare
You let me down
I stayed in line
I'm the piggy in the middle
You think I won't dare
I'll just walk away
Just watch me now
And I won't care
Don't care any more
You'll pay the price
I stared at the sun
You have no soul
My heart is cold
My plan is made
I'll walk away
I'll turn to gold
You have no soul
Your tongue is forked
I'll leave this town
I'll start again
I turn to go
Is There Sex in Marriage?
When women come and see me for sex tips
The one hot question on their lips
Is how to stoke the appetite when it dips
Is there sex in marriage?
Mrs Rita Duckworth from LA
Wonders if her husband is suddenly gay
I say the chains of wedlock weigh so heavily
It takes two to bear them, sometimes three
Calvin Coolidge at the rooster farm
The good Mrs Coolidge on his arm
Asked the farmer just how come
The rooster could perform so many times
The farmer said to Mrs Coolidge "My cock's harder!"
"Tell that to Calvin," she said, "he lacks ardour"
"Well that may be," the president replied
"Because it's not the same hen each time."
Death Ruins Everything
We all get low, you have no clothes
Your sack is heavy, your sack is grim
Here we go, here we go
We all get low, we have no clothes
Second record to go, double spittle pip stop
Don't touch my trim I'll get some gash
My sack is heavy my sack is grim
We all get low, we have no clothes
Second record to go
Stop don't touch my trim, don't get your gash
Everybody dies in their own way
Today may be the first day of
The rest of your decay
And though you feel you've only just begun
I'm sad to say
Your death's already underway
Mine began on Wednesday
I'm very sad to say
It happens every day
We all get low, you have no clothes
Second record to go double spittle pip stop
Everybody wears the stupid grin
Worn by the skeleton underneath your skin
And he'll grin like that forever, he's already doing it now
Just getting practice in
Remembered in a photograph
An X-ray of a hollow laugh
That ruins everything
That ruins everything
We all get low, you have no clothes
Second record to go, double spittle pip stop
Don't touch my trim I'll get some gash
My sack is heavy my sack is grim
We all get low, we have no clo-
We all get low, we have no clo-
We all get low, we have no clo-
Don't touch my trim I'll get some gash
My sack is heavy my sack is grim
We all get low We have no clothes
Second record to go
Stop don't touch my trim don't get your gash
Everybody howls in disbelief
To see their friends and relatives
Approach with floral wreaths
And I'd like to say that day won't come for you my friend
My self, my world, my everlasting lover girl
Of course it will. of course it will
And when it does I hope that you have done the things you've come to do
All the things you'd meant to do before the bastard got to you
All the things you'd meant to do before the bastard got to you
Bubble Music
I'm making my notebook about the kids in America
Showing devotion to the Showa emperor
A permanent Hiroshima is constantly happening
In this peace that feels so much like war
And every bridge we build will surely fall away
And every building crumble into the waves
My hands worn to the bone by this business of living
My hopes shrink by one tatami mat each year
We must run faster, for if we can run fast enough
Maybe we'll catch the kids in America
And every bridge we build will surely fall away
And every building crumble into the waves
Bubble Music for the 20th century
Bubble music for the things that were meant to be
Bubble music for the fashion and the art
Bubble music for your bamboo heart
Building Song
Over by the building where the people work all day
Where the people work all day I will meet you
Out across the river in the park at midday
In the park at midday I'll be there
And it'll be like TV when they set the guy free
And he sees how things are for the first time
And if you find you're like me, trying so hard to see
You must only believe it's all there
You're in a misty state of mind, those sunny days so far behind
Those sunny days, so hard to find, so far away
But when you start to ease away the pain from your sad and weary brain
Your city life seems much more sane, like a bright sun ray
And it'll be like TV when they set the guy free
And he sees how things are for the first time
And if you find you're like me, trying so hard to see
You must only believe it's all there
Confiance Absolue
Non, non tu dois me croire
Non, non je jure je jure en tout cas
Non, non tu peut avoir
Confiance en moi
Confiance absolue
Non, non j'n'ai pas mange
Les oranges suspendu sur la branche defendue
Et s'il n'y en aura plus
Aie confiance en moi
Confiance absolue
Non, non, des rendezvous clandestins
Dans le petit matin
Non, non tu peut avoir confiance en moi
Confiance absolue
Non, non j'n'ai jamais pris des amants
Non non, j'n'suis pas comme ca
Ou bien de temps en temps
Pas souvent, tu vois
Tu peut compter sur moi
Non, non j'ai pas mange
Les gourdons interdit obscenement suspendu
Pourquoi me torturer
Aie confiance en moi
Confiance absolue
Aie confiance en moi
Confiance absolue
Non, non tu peut bien croire, je l'avoue
Le mieux et pas le pire
Mais surtout ne pas croire
Ces "non nons" que je
Suis en train de te dire
Non, non, je veux te voir
Non, non, ne dis pas ca
non non, tu peut avoir
confiance en moi
confiance absolue
Non, non je ne suis pas sale ou douteux
Menteur ni tendencieux
Non non j'ai pas d'affaire
Pas du tout, tu sais
En fait toute au contraire
Pas du tout, tu sais
En fait toute au contraire
Adoration
There are people who always say
They cherish life in a special way
Just as you do and others they
Look up to someone in a special way
I knew a girl who would pray all day
Now she would kneel while he would say
Why adore something that you can't see
Stay down here and talk to me
In the end they thought they found
A special idol to adore
Then they lost the cheaper kind
Just to watch him more and more
One of these days we'll build a home
There'll be a room we can be alone
And in a year maybe there will be
A higher life for you and me
Everyone is searching for
A brand new idol to adore
And in the time it takes to win
Adoration comes within
Seethe and turn a dozen times
Feel it just ends up in sighing
Patience is the highest virtue
Winning here is what we all do
Seethe and turn a dozen times...
Strawberry Hill
Flight path
Walk the track along the dead canal
Phoenix rising over water
Cranes atomic in the meadowland
I am weak
But you are strong
And i wish we were together
Black life
Foggy filters on a halftone pan
Colours blending in a starburst
Shopping centre in a half built ring
You are tight
And i need light
And i wish we were together
Swan rise
Flying wild before the zigzag suburb
Now i kneel before you naked
Alloy framing on a fat back feature
Fantasy
On the borderline
And i wish we were together
Strawberry hill
Black graffiti on a shotgun shack
Nothing's moving on the waters
Pulling focus on a hot young body
Fantasy
Reality
And i wish we were together