Stars Forever Lyrics
Stars Forever

Disk One

1 Other Music
2 Tinnitus
3 3D Corporation
4 Akiko Masuda
5 Stefano Zarelli
6 Minty Fresh
7 Jeff Koons
8 Milton Jacobson
9 Mai Noda
10 Robert Dye
11 Florence Manlik
12 Adam Green
13 Maf
14 Stephanie Pappas
15 Steven Zeeland
16 Mika Akutsu
17 Miles Franklin
18 Paolo Rumi
19 Karin Komoto

Disk Two

1 Reckless Records
2 Kokoro Hirai
3 Indiepop List
4 Keigo Oyamada
5 Team Clermont
6 Brent Busboom
7 Natsuko Tayama
8 Girlie Action
9 Minus 5
10 Noah Brill
11 Shawn Krueger
12 New Flame, Same Old Story
Christian Carl
13 Not Intended For Children
Bill Hardy
14 Coming On An Interns Dress
Mr Kate Jenkins
15 Nicky My Friend
Diego Zapparoli and Paola
16 Mr Jones
Jack Curtis Dubowsky
17 Taste Of Pink Champagne
El Topo
18 Onan The Barbarian
Richard Knowles
19 Suggestion To Jealous Men
Olivier Schopfer

Other Music

Mad music, sad music
Totally bad and crazy music
Brave music, strange music
Mathematical lava music
Music from the roots
Not from corporate suits
Stand out from the crowd
Play quiet music very, very loud

Difficult music, liveable music
Lickable, hummable, kickable music
Love music, fear music
We got some here music!
Retro-futuristic dandy music
Exploding plastic candy music
So amusing

Brother music
Sister music
Lover music
Other Music
Number 15 East 4th Street

Kinky music
Stinky music
Cutey pinky Japanese music
othermusic dot com
Music you'll want to suck on!

Other Music
Suck music
Other Music
Fuck music...

Tinnitus

When Disney came to Scotland
Shooting 'Pixel Claymores'
I wanted the role of the rotten
Villain Rob McMurdo

But Tinnitus auditioned first
Some weird DJ from Boston
He's from WZBC
And he doesn't look much like a Scotsman

The butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker
The weaver, the cheever, the bastard
Damn it and blast 'em, they said they had cast them
And swept me under the carpet

Tinnitus replied in a synthesised voice
When I dared him to fight me at Tekken
The clash of our claymores rang through the glens
And on 90.3 FM

And was it for real or was it a dream
When I buried my steel in his belly?
Tinnitus fell, the director yelled
'Cut!' then they put it on telly

The Campbells are coming, I'm long in the tooth
Was it because my hair is all gone?
I sit on the set in a sporran and kilt
My name is Winterblossom

Gall and wormwood under my tongue
Bonnie Prince Charlie's an arsehole
My friends are dead, it's cold and wet
My name is Rob McMurdo

I'll no be taken for granted
And I'll no be turned away
I'll be back!

3D Corporation

Did you ever fall in love with a corporation
Did you ever work all night cos you love your job?
Did you ever scan the skin of a tower in Tokyo
See Keigo Oyamada hunched over Moogs at 2 o'clock?

3D Corporation
You're the corporation I love

Did you ever sit and work in a room of neon
With Fumiko Masaki and Oka-San all smiles?
Pink and white and blue and beautiful luminous neon
Friendly curvy squeaky completely astonishing sounds

3D Corporation
You're the corporation I love

Watch this video of the gorgeous Kahimi Karie

Akiko Masuda

Daidai iro no wakusei no ue de
Midori no zubon wo haki
Neko no yo-u ni odoru
Trendy na Harajuku no
Anata wa graphic design no
Ohsama to jou ou sama
In trendy Harajuku

You're no square with your chilli chilli hair
Akiko Masuda, Animal of Airs

Supercar baseball Abraham Lincoln
Newton John stripe individual projection
801 orange planet tape recorder vinyl bear
And the shirts we wear
Transonic Florida cheerleader set
Ballpoint boyfriend sticker club pet

You're no square with your chilli chilli hair
Akiko Masuda, Animal of Airs

Mastercard, Visa Farrah Fawcett Major
Texas Instruments Super Speak and Spell
Beams Works Playset astrolube superturf
T Shirt beach ball Pocket Monster kewpie Doll
Down the stairs Animal Of Airs
Ooh we oh, here we go

You're no square with your chilli chilli hair
Akiko Masuda, Animal of Airs

Denki Groove
Yoshinori Sunahara
Sounds of the 70s
Take Off And Landing
Mars Art Lab, Animal Of Airs
Trendy trendy retro 70s chairs
Studio Voice had no choice
Barfout magazine did a feature on your dreams

Akiko Masuda from the land of Buddha
Used to be a geisha, used to be a spider
Got a cutie face, got a cutie mania, media junky
Born on October 31st 1970
Akiko Masuda, Artcore funky
Ooh we oh, here we go

Ooh we oh here we go
You're no square with your chilli chilli hair

Daidai iro no wakusei no ue de
Midori no zubon wo haki
Neko no yo-u ni odoru
Trendy na Harajuku no
Anata wa graphic design no
Ohsama to jou ou sama
In trendy Harajuku

Akiko Masuda
From the land of Buddha
From the land of judo
From the land of sumo
From the land of Harajuku
Here at the centre of all known trends
The known world ends
You're no square with your chilli chilli hair

Stefano Zarelli

Angel: Stefano Zarelli he's an angel in the making
And he's going straight to Heaven like me

Devil: Well that's not what I've heard and as a Devil I can say the word's
That Stefano's as rotten as can be

Angel: Well he's a man of the world, Milano, California, Switzerland, Vienna, Japan

Devil: Yeah he'll go anywhere the girls can be persuaded
To have [*&!] sex with a man

Everyone's just a mess of contradictions
And we all write fictions each day
Angels and devils are the images we use
But they don't mean shit, they just hide the truth away

Why not learn to love your contradictions
Why not live your life to the full?
Love the snake beneath the flowers
Cos together they're the power
Of the contradictory beauty of you!

Angel: Well he loves Woody Allen and he loves a bossa nova
And he cooks a pretty good pasta sauce
Devil: Woody Allen, exactly, and the sauce is pretty spicy
Stefano Zarelli's soul is lost

Angel: He loves warm places like tropical hothouses
There's an orchestra that plays in his head
Devil: Yeah he loves warm places, like saunas and Hades
And between the legs of every redhead

Stefano Zarelli's just a mass of contradictions
Like Dr Jeckyll and Mr Hyde
Angels and devils are the images we use
But they don't mean shit, they just rule and divide

Why not learn to love your contradictions
Why not live your life to the full?
Love the snake beneath the flowers
Cos together they're the power
Of the contradictory beauty of you!

Your whole life is a mass of contradictions
And you mix up fiction with truth
Love the flowers and the force
Cos together they're the source
Of the power and the beauty of you!

Minty Fresh

When that I was but a little tiny boy
WIth a heigh ho the wind and the rain
Minty Fresh was my only joy
For the rain it rained every day
Papas Fritas, The Cardigans, Komeda
The Legendary Jim Ruiz Group
Anthony and Jim gave me hours of pleasure
With their record label Minty Fresh

A mortal dare not look upon
The creatures of the night
The goblin foul, the horned toad
The vicious little sprite

Ariel is the name I bear
On the bat black night I fly
I'll have music wherever I go
Till Phoebus 'gins a rise
The gods, my friends, smile down on us
The wheel of fortune turns
We shall be spared the plague and the clap
When the fire of London burns

We see the skull beneath the skin
The eldritch empty eyes
And if we let the music stop
We'd soon be paralysed

But with bells on our fingers
And bells on our toes
We'll ring a tune when we mop and mow
Heigh ho the wind and the rain
Let us play these disks again and again
The Sugarplastic, Melony
Doctor Kosmos, Veruca Salt
The Orange Peels, Kahimi Karie
The Aluminum Group and all

We fear the monsters of the night
The hump-backed whale, the Caliban brute
We stand in awe where they stand tall
The flibbertigibbet and the rawhead spook

When I was but a little tiny boy
Green grow the rushes o
Where the bee sucked there sucked I
In a parsnip's bell I'd lie
Ring in the summer, boys, bring in the wheat
Let us laugh in the face of death
We'll dance and feast all night tonight
To the sounds of Minty Fresh

Jeff Koons

He has come to bring you things that make you happy
A gigantic puppy made of living flowers
A balloon dog like a helium Brancusi
Baroque and Rococo, Louis Quattorze

Basketballs suspended in Bavaria
Usher in a fat contented pig
Whose every hair is hand-carved by Italian master-craftsmen
A porcelain Michael Jackson and Bubbles in a wig

A box of breakfast cereal we market to the morning
A teddy bear policeman reprimands you with a warning
And all that's made in heaven falls apart
Pink and yellow arrows through your heart
Blue and yellow arrows through your heart
Green and yellow arrows through your heart

Mr Koons with a swordfish!
Pin the tail on Koons!
President Koons on Mount Rushmore!
The Klondike Trail by donkey
Context is a game that you can play
And art can help you have a better day

Pink panthers from the realm of the ephemeral
A friendly advertising testimonial
A second empire chair, Boticelli hair
Cut-outs at a fun fair and the clothes you love to wear

Every time that it appears that happiness and fun
Are as far away as Jupiter and Mars
According to the lore of great philosophers
A shaman must appear amongst the stars
A Sun King lifts his hand amongst the stars
And a vacuum cleaner stands amongst the stars

Gigantic baboons
Cereal spoons
Philosopher kings
The moon in June
Disney cartoons
The morning sun
Jeff Koons

Milton Jacobson

Make yourself like Milton Jacobson
To get ahead in vaudeville
Burlesque in Detroit Michigan
To get ahead in vaudeville
Forbidden nights and burning moments
Playful girls and savage crime
If you want to get ahead in vaudeville
Be a witness to the march of time

If you want to get ahead in the showbiz game
Be sure that your ideas are fresh
Does anybody have a toothpick, ma'am
Has anybody got boiled eggs?
We're going to play a game of Screeno
While the girls kick up their legs
If you can tell a joke about the eggs I broke
Or a man who had a dog called Sex

Bone 'em up in Barnum's Lexicon
The words that pull the biggest crowd
'Sexotic, sexquisite, sexsational'
Make sure your poster's extra loud
Get girls from the Accordion College
Gigantic reptiles can be nice
Busby Berkley wheelchairs, my oh my
Bums dressed up as bears on ice

You've said such lovely things about my handlebar mustache
You've said such lovely things about my hat
Here's a genuine semi-precious stone
I just wanted to tell you that
I've been watching with binoculars from opposite the theatre
And you're a lovely person, but
You'll never get ahead in vaudeville
If I catch you with your hand in the till
(One more time)
If I catch you one more time with your hand in the till
You'll never get ahead in vaudeville

Mai Noda

I am Mai Noda's strawberry iMac
Switch on my screen
A strawberry coloured Apple computer
Also in green
I sit in the gloom of this little room
Emitting a luminous hum
Deep in my pink
Translucent sleep
Waiting for Mai to come home

This is our world, iMac and Mai
Here in our room
Body and mind and industrial design
Under the moon

Translucent and pink I sit on the table
Designed by the Englishman Ive
A few sparks of static make my screen crackle
As I come alive
I rise from my deep translucent sleep
Mai sits there reading a book
Mai takes a bath
And when she's clean
Mai reads Queneau, Bataille and Celine

This is our world, iMac and Mai
Here in our room
One human being and her machine
Together alone

Bare on her flat tatami mat
Mai turns the page
Lost in her dream
Lithe as a cat
With thoughts that are strange
Mai turns to me
And I see
Her face in the frame of my screen
She looks like a goldfish
Voluptuous and naked
Golden and green

This is our world, iMac and Mai
Here in our room
The crackling of Bebop on chunky black vinyl
A modem negotiates the line

Her favourite PostPet, a small yellow rabbit
Brings Mai her mail
Outside the rain, the sweet summer rain
Falls on the wall

This is our world, iMac and Mai
Here in our room
One human being and her machine
Under the moon

Robert Dye

They say the Prince Consort was afflicted, you know
With medical defects of many sorts
And even a disease of an anti-social nature
He'd picked up from the Northern German ports
General Impediment
With your medical equipment
To purge excess sediment from the depths of the spleen
Plumbers by appointment
To His Majesty Prince Albert
You'll never make a whipping boy of me

For I'm Mr Robert Dye, commercial traveller
I worked my way up to Managing Director
Of Sphincter and Linctus, Manufacturers
Our remedies cure all the maladies
That daren't speak their names
Woe betide the malaise that stands in my way
General Impediment, you've had your day
Time gentlemen please, and good night ladies

I wash my contact lenses in a kettle
It really is the quickest, cleanest way
I removed all my hair one day and bought a nice toupee
Cos I've never liked my own hair anyway
Never get undressed in front of the window honey
People will think I married you for the money
I dress up as Ghandi
It impresses foreign clients, you see
I like breast milk, but never in my tea

Cos I'm Mr Robert Dye, commercial traveller
What's sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander
The animals talk to me, I talk to them
When we rule the world you'll be sorry
Catch my drift, going my way
Say no more, hi-de-hey
A nudge is as good as a wink at the end of the day
18 Wheeler, best band in the world
Good night ladies

Trudy my mother had me by Caesarian
Grandmother Schlump got shoved under a tram
Lotte, mum's twin, said the Aryans did her in
For refusing to be beastly to anyone

For I'm Robert Dye, commercial traveller
This life can be hard but keep up your dander
God bless my family and my career
If it wasn't for sediment we'd never be here
General Impediment just wait and see
You're far from seeing the back end of me
I'll have you on your knees, time gentlemen please
And goodnight ladies

Florence Manlik

Dandy lovers come and see
Manly Madame Spaghetti
Sprouting like a runner bean
Florence Manlik

She has got a band and she
Calls it Panda 43
Manly dandy chaotique
Florence Manlik

Pale blue eyes and clowny lipstick
Black and blue-haired schizophrenic
Monomaniac, masochistic
Florence Manlik

At 19 she left home
In a Citroen Deux Chevaux
To Marseilles and Paris to
Work on her art

She is always keen to see
People she would like to be
Spread out on the floor on three
Big sheets of paper

She's still making art but she
Now can also make you sushi
But her great creative feat
Is admiration

Writes by hand a small and wiry
50 kilometer diary
Lives with Siamese and she
Swims like a cat

Hangs with Japanese and gay
Skeletons from unknown planets
Aliens are thin and fey
Fred's from Marseilles

Always fascinated by
Things that she would like to try
Toured herself a hundred times
Now she'll be you

Extraterrestrial dressed as human
Marilyn Manson, Gary Numan
Vampire girl for Gilles Weinzaepflen
Loves what she's not

Elegante and eccentrique
Barely madder than a hatter
Manly madame spaghetti
Florence Manlik

Adam Green

If my name were Howard
I'd dress up in a cummerbund and fez
If my name were Howard
I'd puff all night on funny cigarettes

If my name were Howard
I'd be terrified of getting sucked buck naked down the drain
Into a damp, dark world of flesh-eating spiders
If my name were Howard
I'd have thought of South Park and be rich as Midas

But my name is Adam Green
I was born on Halloween
One more event I could not control or plan
What else can I do
But make my funny cartoons for you?

If my name were Adam
If you hit me with a hammer
I would try to practise passive resistance
But it's a tricky business
If my name were Adam
Terrible phone fact # 3
You'd spend seven years of your life waiting for a call from me

If my name were Dorothy
I'd be a Baskerville or Parker
Surrounded by the barking of chihuahuas
If my name were Howard
My tattoo would be a working bar code on the palm of my left hand
That I would slide across any and all automated price checkers

But my name is Adam Green
I was born into a scene
Of dullish alpha males with willing consorts
What else can I do
But make my funny cartoons for you?

If my name were Howard

Puppy brains and jism
Two good reasons why you should never let aliens
Prepare your thanksgiving dinner
Puppy brains and jism
Please take a message Miss Brown
I've stapled my tie to my tongue
If my name were Ren Hoek
I would dress in bespoke for chihuahuas

But my name is Adam Green
I was born into a scene
Of gibbering roughneck apes and liquorice allsorts
What else can I do
But vent my spleen on wretches like you?

If my name were Franz I would giggle myself stupid
Enjoying my insomnia through the endless Prague nights
If my name were Franz I would wear such tight pants
That people would laugh when I spoke in a funny high voice

I'd dress up in a cummerbund and fez
And my wellington boot would be on the other foot
And my favourite cigarette would be a bergamot cheroot
My cut glass wit, refreshing and elegant, would enliven
Every slightly jaded party
My remarks would be recorded in order by Miss Dorothy Parker

Maf

Read all about it! Murder in Whitechapel
Down the Grave Maurice
Maf, a star of Music Hall
Gunned down mid-song
By unknown assailants
So I confess I couldn't bear being less famous
Oh what misfortunes in this day and age
Befall the Whitechapel music hall stage!
A variety PacMan, I swallowed his fame
There and then, when I gunned poor Matthew down

(Murder most 'orrible)

Maf had it all, the love of the public
The wit of Lennie Bruce, Bill Hicks, and Peter Cook
Beautiful women, a daughter called Ushka
A career in music hall, Bathshebas and babushkas
Oh what misfortunes occur in this age
You can never be sure you'll leave the stage
As you came on it
A fat Space Invader, I flattened his fame
That day I gunned poor Matthew down

(I 'ope you're ashamed of yourself)

Singer, philanderer, drinker and coprophile
Born in Batley, Leeds, adorned in orange rosary beads
'I am nobody' engraved on the bracelet
He wore around his wrist in Dickensian copperplate
I made my confession to Didsbury police
I'd hoped to kill Morrissey, but neither of us could get arrested
Oh what misfortunes, what sufferings and pain
I have brought upon the halls of old Brick Lane!

(Or could he be sane?)
(To my eternal shame)

Read all about it! Murder in Whitechapel
Down the Grave Maurice
Momus, star of Music Hall
Gunned down mid-song --

Stephanie Pappas

I follow a totally uncharismatic guru
(Electric automatic guru)
He told me Stephanie be wonderful
Be who you want to be
And do the things you want to do
(Electric guru)

I gave all my money
To my uncharismatic guru
(Automatic uncharismatic guru)
But Mummy don't worry
I know what he's trying to do
(Bugaboo, bugaboo guru)

Oh he doesn't fool me, with one look
I can see right through
(My automatic uncharismatic guru)
But I would still buy
If he tried to sell me the moon
(The fool -- sell you the moon!)

I have fallen in love with my uncharismatic guru
(I love you, I love you guru)
Because that was exactly the thing
That he seemed to expect me to do
(My guru)

(My automatic uncharismatic guru)
(The fool)

He thinks he's a charlatan
Thinks I'm a naive fool
(My laughable, loveable guru)
In fact it's the other way round
Who fooled who?
(More fool you, guru!)

He told me Stephanie Pappas
To thine own self be true
(Do as I say, not as I do)
All that seems to be you's really me
And all that seems to be me is really me too

So I went to bed
With my uncharismatic guru
It seemed to be simply the right thing to do
When I'd given him my money, my soul and my body
I did it to make him feel better
And I'd just like to say
I only wish my guru could have been a better lay
Hey

Steven Zeeland

All I desire is a military man who knows that he is born
A soldier, a sailor, a pretty marine blowing on the horn
On a military base or a battleship deck
Let me come in his ass with my tongue down his neck
When I die mix my ash with the piss
At Camp Pendleton Del Mar Enlisted Club

Well Brent was my crush in high school, boys
And I followed him round the world
Well the army sent Brent off to Frankfurt, boys
But Brent he went off with a girl
I rented a room like a Fassbinder film
But I needed a job so they had me begin
At a sporting goods store on the military base
Blowing on the horn

And why should I lust after killing machines
A man of my delicate build?
Why request photos of naked marines
From the Athletic Model Guild?
Stripped to the skin, their muscles like rocks
With their hair high and tight, gripping their cocks
Put it down to the fact that opposites attract
And go blowing on the horn

On Okinawa straight Corporal Buchman bonded while getting tattoos
In California a thousand marines were caught posing for gay videos
Nobody's straight one hundred percent
Every soldier and sailor's potentially bent
I'll keep you hard till your girlfriend arrives
And go blowing on the horn

He wrote 'Barrack Buddies and Soldier Lovers', 'The Masculine Marine'
'Sailors and Sexual Identity' and did lots of research in between
But a writer should never stop living to write
Steven Zeeland, our hero, still follows the fleet
Painting the town, writing it down
And a' blowing on the horn

A man in the thrall of a sexual spell is the luckiest man alive
The dreams he has lived and the sperm he has spilled
Give meaning to his life
When you look back, after you're dead
You'll regret what you didn't do, not what you did
When I die mix my ash with the piss
At camp Pendleton Del Mar Enlisted Club

Mika Akutsu

When Truman Capote spent just one day with Marilyn Monroe
He wrote 'A Beautiful Child'
The book Capote wrote hit the right note
Hit the spot
He got Monroe to a T

But Mika Akutsu AKA Mika Leigh
What about me?
I know you work in electronics
Translated all my lyrics
But you're still a mystery
Let's spend the day in Yokohama
Riding on a ferris wheel
And see what we can see
Mika Akutsu AKA Mika Leigh

When Princess Kaguya arrived from the moon
She made crazy demands to throw off the men
Tagging along trying to get her into bed
She said 'Don't fuck with my head'
Strung out between Yokohama and Palo Alto
You ought to know
You confuse your friends with two homes
Confuse your men with two names
Just like Norma Jean
Let's spend the day in California
Climb a giant redwood tree
And see what we can see
Mika Akutsu, born again Mika Leigh

Holly Golightly and Tinkerbell are multicultural
But they don't exist
I know you're very, very clever
And you're a star forever
But you're still the great unknown
Let's spend a day in Yokohama
Riding on a ferris wheel
And see who we can be
Mika Akutsu born again Mika Leigh

Miles Franklin

All the lovers I've had I seemed to mislay
One went mad, one went away
One left a note that said 'The heart repairs'
On the wine cork he wrote 'Love is there'
The shelves we put up at the foot of the stairs
Make me long to be a couple like the ones at Ikea
Now when I dream of a man
I see him putting up shelves (shelves!)

Single, 32, working in IT
Miles Franklin
Gay, discreet
Neatly-bound issues, Wallpaper magazine
Sam Taylor-Wood, Philip Glass symphonies
David Sylvian, 'Dead Bees On A Cake'
Modernist, minimalist, opaque
Japanese tea, lonely old me

The day before you came
The one that got away
My life with Tyler Brule
Whether you care or pretend you don't care
You can't forget 'love is there'
Classified advertisements, Wallpaper magazine
Lines from stupid pop songs, the fragments of a dream
Or simply spring (spring!)
It all begins again

The serene calm of ebonised ash
Modern antiques, ceramics and birch
A stainless steel kitchen, a stainless steel heart
Kuala Lumpur, a world apart
The men I never met
The books I never wrote
Files full of letters and boxes full of notes
A Charles Eames chair, beautiful and bare

The day before you came
The one that got away
My life with Tyler Brule
Whether you care or pretend you don't care
You can't forget 'love is there'
The shelves of magazines
You flipped through idly
Your life as tidy as the Alexandria library
The heart repairs
Like the shelves at the foot of the stairs

The day before you came
The one that got away
My life with Tyler Brule
Discreet or outrageous, scene or non-scene
Love is there, shy and obscene
The men I never met
The books I never wrote
The songs I never sang, my heart full of hope
Or simply spring (spring!)
It all begins again

Paolo Rumi

I am a theme park
Paolo Rumi
Here are my gates
Come into me

I'm a dream park
Here in the rain
Filling the waves
Troubling space
With my SOS

Down the parade
Over the sea
Come follow me
I'm a theme park

I'm a DJ
All through the night
Trying to be dumb
Asserting the right to be different
From everyone else

Seeking someone
To join me so we can be
Different
In the same way
Paolo Rumi
The minotaur guy
The labyrinth guide
On the mother of rides

I'm a theme park
Come step inside
Come be my bride
Frankenstein's just a working class guy
In the kitsch world of pop
His salvation

I am a dream park
I ride a white swan
On a black pond
On and on
Through the hot nights
Towards cities of papier mache

I'm a theme park
The bride was a man
The family planned
The three of us there in the ghost house
We're the deviant ones
The long way we've come
The burdens we've borne
Will one day be etched on our face
But not yet -- we're still young
Too young to be crushed by the weight
Of your difference from us

I'm a poem
J. Alfred Prufrock
Sinking my teeth in the peach
I am a theme park
Advertising
Learning to love the consumer society

I am a DJ
Filling the waves
Troubling space
With my SOS
I'm a DJ
From the revolution
Advertising
Emotional states

Trying to discover intelligent life upon earth someplace
(Trying to be dumb, trying to be bright)
I'm a DJ
All through the night
Trying to be dumb
Trying to be different from everyone else

Seeking someone to join me
So we can be different the same way
A theme park
You have no choice
Here are my gates
Discover my voice...

Karin Komoto

I will dress you in a looser flowing silk
Androgynous hermaphrodite
You are a person made of milk
You are a person made of light
You are a lotus water flower and a crane
Your love is for a soul and not its name

Karin Komoto
Karin Komoto
Karin Komoto
Karin come on

San Fransiscan Japanese
Asexual and naive, flirtatious
You're affected and a waif
And your boyfriends are all gay
Outrageous!
A kitten sleeping on your naked breast
A perfect image of happiness

Karin Komoto
Karin Komoto
Karin Komoto
Karin come on

Reckless Records

The most beautiful people in the world
Were two rows ahead there on the airplane
I decided to trail them there and then
And when we touched down
They led me to Reckless

The most beautiful people in the world
Were thronging the streets
Walking on Broadway
Completely implausible girls
Pregnant and legless
Led me to Reckless

When I walked in the store I just sighed
I thought that I'd died and gone straight to heaven
All my favourite bands side by side
The ones that I never find
I found them at Reckless

If you visit Chicago I'd suggest
You don't waste your time
Just head for the store I adore
Cynthia Plaster Caster lives next door
She'll cast your penis
Isn't it priceless?

Kokoro Hirai

Kokoro Hirai cannot write today
She's in hospital, reason is too much chocolate
We are her relatives Taeko and Kazuko
We're writing to see if you can make her stop it

Kokoro Hirai keeps chocolates in her room
Chocolates in her bag, chocolates in her pocket
She eats them every time, everywhere
Five to six packages a day

She also loves toys
She also loves teas
Her motto is 'Nonbiri bonyari'
(It mean 'easy and idly')
But mostly Kokoro Hirai loves chocolates
That's why she lies in hospital today

Her behaviour is making us uneasy
Sometimes she makes us feel bad
She seems to be happy eating her chocolates
But we think they're driving her mad

If we shop with her in a convenience store
We will witness a surprise scene maybe
She will buy a shop basket full up with chocolate
Milk, bitter, white or strawberry
She don't mind the colour, she don't care the price
If it's chocolate, to her must be nice
Especially in winter there are many kinds of chocolate in store
So winter for her is a paradise

She also loves toys
She also loves teas
Her motto: 'Nonbiri bonyari'
(It mean 'easy and idly')
But mostly Kokoro Hirai loves chocolates
Which is why she lies in hospital today

Her behaviour is making us uneasy
Sometimes she makes us feel bad
We have issued her a warning about too much chocolate once
But she never paid attention to our words

She also loves toys
She also loves teas
Her motto: 'Nonbiri bonyari'
('Live easy and idly')
But mostly Kokoro Hirai loves chocolates
Which is why she lies in hospital today

Indiepop List

Queens, goons, pigeons and baboons
I met them on the indiepop list
Folks that make me dance a tap
I'm so happy you exist

Maura Smale found the holy grail
Maura was the first to post
Stephen Cramer in a hotel room in Georgia
Wrestled Matthew Jacobson and lost

Luke Owens, happy lazy bones
Says 'Give my Small World a plug'
Layna Ayre came from alt dot angst
Where she met her husband Doug

Mike Appelstein met his bride to be
Callie on the indiepop list
Jonathan Takagi likes his movies arty
If Chris Marker points the camera he'll assist

Johannes Schneider loves Nora and New Order
Grows apricots in Weisbaden across the German border
Nora, 19, adores Belle and Sebastian
And 'Tapestry' by Carole King mainly for the cover

Jim Thaxton honks the rusty claxon
On his trusty Beetle Foxy Brown
Rob Enbom, once a heavy metal fan
Runs Dial-A-Pirate Records when Holly's not around

Craig Chin is interested in
Art and revolution nerd style
Steven McGowan sells gay porn
But he's a pussycat deep down

The indiepop list, the indiepop list
So glad that you exist on the indiepop list
The indiepop list, the indiepop list
Check that you exist on the indiepop list

Jasmine J. Jopling and Eliot Van Buskirk
Lie drinking Irish coffee in bed
Lettuce prey that every boring holiday
We celebrate Crabonanza instead

Xavier Kim of Clock Strikes Thirteen
Shameless self-promotion is his task
Laura Waitling stands patiently waiting
'What's your favourite colour?' 's all she asks

Susannah Grossman, currently heartbroken
Finishes her homework with a sigh
Jaime Schmid took the long route
To school so she'd see Charley and say 'Hi'

Dan Zmud makes symphonies of mud
When he takes the mushrooms he's Prometheus the god
Katie Vincent, the bendiest girl in school
Has a lifelong fear of robots but thinks that Dan is cool

Marian Chen loves perverted British men
Cunning linguists and Louis Phillippe
Victor Raul thinks Seisure are cool
Sings along to Beatles songs in faraway Peru

The indiepop list, the indiepop list
Check you exist on the indiepop list
The indiepop list, the indiepop list
So glad that you exist on the indiepop list

Adam Donnelly, girly tall and skinny
Is one of the most interesting people he knows
Alyssa Ference needs her independence
But Adam loves her anywhere she goes

Paul Fitzgerald gives trophies and medals
To cokeheads, but don't ask me why
Lisa Brandt would like to go to Pluto
Where Sarah Records bands go when they die

Keith Sawyer to satisfy your lawyer
I'll say your college radio show is great
Andy Coles didn't want to spoil
The relationship of consumer to artist and so he never wrote

Chris Flores loves the dawn chorus
Blue skies filled with bulbous airy clouds
Anne Zender, slacker, troublemaker
Is tall enough to see in any crowd

Andrew Leavitt, Fairways is his band
He lives in San Fransisco with an anthropologist
Ryan Williams, a big Whit Stillman fan
Makes his films on super 8 cos he's expressionist

Ned Norland, his one man band
On Revival's called America, Dear
Seo Hui Han, makes the Carryout zine
And studies great white frenchmen who were clinically insane

Patrick Rogers and his three large rescue dogs
Make obsessive compulsive etchings with a twist
Guy Leavitt has an esoteric secret
He thinks that I'm a numerologist (1,2,3,4)

Little Shirley Beans she's only 16
She put this song together in Brooklyn
Aaron Mandel he loves to read about the scandal
Of the artist formerly known as Nixon

Jenny's favourite doll is a poofy purple cat
And even though she hates it, she hugs it when she's sad
Alexis Lopez would like to get head
On the moon till he explodes from Maurice Sendak

Queens, goons, pigeons and baboons
I met them on the indiepop list
Folks that make me tip my hat
I'm so happy you exist

Keigo Oyamada

When the ape's bineural microphones are pointed out to sea
He's not fishing for your food but whistling a symphony
Caesar, Nova, cats of the ape, please forgive your master
For Cornelius helps this slow old world to turn a little faster

Keigo Oyamada tours the world, but who looks after you?
You catch rats and mice while Keigo edits desktop video
Though your life is hard please know your sacrifices are worthwhile
For Cornelius is the genius with the world's most brilliant music style

Courage oh my little cats, somewhere someone remembers you
Give your master Oyamada-San the credit he is due
For one day he'll pick you up and feed you liver giblets
Playing Beethoven he'll heap your plate with all your favourite titbits

Sometimes, oh my kitten droogs, it seems that he's forgotten you
Glorying in global fame or jamming in his studio
When you're feeling cold and hungry, sunk in an oblivion
Oyamada-Sensei will return to feed you in Elysium!

Team Clermont

Come grasshopper let's tell the tale again
Of Team Clermont, five southern gentlemen
Their mission's indie music and their weapon is the phone
Battling indifference on the college radio shows
To Hefner and The Creatures and a host of other schmoes
Five southern men

Five ponchos, five sombreros, and a phone
The shadows of five horsemen on the desert horizon
DJs who play Metallica tremble as they come
Saddlebags packed up with something deadlier than guns
The new Kid Silver, Daniel Johnston and DJ Krush albums
Five southern men

Team Clermont men
Lucas, like Clint Eastwood in a tux
Brings lore straight from the back woods about what fish are best to f(richochet)k
Jumps off his trusty steed and shoots the technicolor breeze
Right beside a cactus there on his hands and knees
One too many Pabst Blue Ribbons on top of those green beans
Five southern men

Nelson is an outlaw tall and thin
He screeches like a parrot and you'll swear a bird flew in
Brian Bowen, tall and free amongst the Georgia tumbleweed
With his plastic black rimmed glasses and his jacket made of tweed
Thank goodness that's the style of a dying breed
Five southern men

Team Clermont men

Grandpaw Jimmy, he's the long arm of the law
He spins yarns about the good old days of rock and roll
Ol' Bill Benson has a coffee mug forever in his hand
His goatee beard is gone but that Pabst Blue Ribbon can
Still lingers on, still lingers on
Team Clermont men

Brent Busboom

This chronicle purports to be
A true account for all to see
Of the picaresque adventures
Of Mr Brent Busboom
The picaresque adventures
The picturesque inventions
The life and the opinions
Of Mr Brent Busboom

(The life and the opinions of Mr Brent Busboom)

When you grow up in a hick town
Never let it get you down
Build up all your irony
And bang on a big bass drum
Born in Champaign Illinois
Busboom, a precocious boy
Compiled a redneck dictionary
Entitled it The Hictionary

(He compiled a redneck dictionary, entitled it The Hictionary)

At high school Brent took on John Flynn
Headmaster and puritan
Who declared 'disruptive to the school'
An oil in the painting show
Of Nancy Reagan on a rug
Upon her head a crown of drugs
Busboom contrived to blackmail Flynn
And the painting went back in

(The painting went back in the show but John Flynn had to go)

At Reno University
Brent showed his true perversity
With a paper on commercials
By the ad man Bill Bernbach
Busboom's essay made the claim
That Bernbach's cereal campaign
Had drawn its inspiration from Milton's Paradise Lost!

(Life Cereal: as crunchy as Milton's Paradise Lost!)

If you want to know a bit about prejudice
Just ask an old Creationist
Like William Jennings Bryan
Who got Darwin banned in schools
Brent Busboom, his descendant
Took paintbrush and amended
The Nevada state motto to
'A great place to get screwed'

(So welcome to Nevada, a great place to get screwed!
And never let a monkey make a monkey out of you)

Well he went to work in a burger bar
But he lasted only five hours there
They caught him spreading pamphlets
Saying the meat was human flesh
'Our butchers will recycle you
To make the best of death
Why not donate your body for a burger made of flesh!'

(A burger made entirely of recycled human flesh)

Natsuko Tayama

I am Natsuko Tayama
The shy soul sister
I got a whole list of
Things on my chest
I want to express
But I'm too shy
To talk to a guy
So I don't even try

Cos I'm shy
Superfly!

Well my face goes flush
I flash a goofy grin
I stammer and I stutter
Don't know where to begin
And I don't change much after sake or gin
(She don't change much after sake or gin)
When I'm on the mike
You can stop right there
I've never been anywhere near
I wouldn't dare
Cos I'm shy
Well you can stop right there!

Superfly!

You know I skipped off school
Too shy for knowledge
I studied silent film when I went to college
Like Andy Warhol and Jonas Mekas
We'd like to be transparent
You can look but don't touch
Or we'll kick your ass!

Cos we're the shy class
Superfly!

I'm Natsuko Tayama
I find there's glamour
In being a wallflower
With a stammer
I love what I am
And you won't change me
So take me how I am
Baby!

Cos I'm super-shy
Superfly!

Well people make quiver
And people make me shiver
Loud people make me want to jump in a river
Cos I'm shy
Here come the tongue-twister

Well I'm shy, mister!
Ha! Superfly!

Well you know
people make quiver
And people make me shiver
Loud people make me want to jump in a river
I can't pluck up the courage to flirt
I'm the world champion heavyweight introvert

I'm shy
Superfly!

Cos I'm Natsuko Tayama
I find there's glamour
In being a wallflower
With a stammer
I love what I am
I'm the best
Funk the rest!

Cos I'm shy
Superfly!

Girlie Action

Look at Dawn, she's strapped on
A pair of inflatable David Cassidy knees

And another hundred bands just got off of the plane
Seeking attention, hungry for fame

My brother Benjamin he's a physician
But I was the conventional one... I'm a musician

I could have been the model I saw in the lift
If I hadn't been born with this terrible gift

Here in New York I'm just a drop in the ocean
What I need now is some incredible press promotion

Girlie Action
Satisfaction

Well Heidi does national, she crosses the zones
Felice is always wearing earphones

Vicky's got an office above Lafayette
And on a clear day you can see Tibet

Here's a cassette you'll love our sound
We're playing tonight at the Mercury Lounge in the round

Look at Dawn, she's strapped on
An extra-long Stephin Merrit nose (see how it glows)

Girlie Action
Satisfaction

And the man from the Voice doesn't want to know
Doesn't he dig thrash zydeco?

And another hundred bands just got off of the plane
Seeking attention, hungry for fame

Girlie Action, Girlie Action

The Minus 5

Who can now remember Zebediah Lane?
The great singing sensation of 1909
With his chicken and his monkey and his ukelele
He achieved what seemed like undying fame
But now his multi-platinum wax cyclinder rolls
Like his name, have crumbled away

One hundred years from now
Who will still be famous?
Scott McCaughey of The Minus 5
John Crist of the Dashboard Saviours
Or their collaborators
Pearl Jam, REM, Sonic Youth, Guided By Voices
The Walkabouts, The Posies (Ken and John)
The Presidents of the United States Of America
(Not them, the other ones)?

Massive popularity is never enough
Not even worldwide acclaim or universal love
Can guarantee eternities of honour
For our names

As Velazquez and Picasso will happily explain
History remembers the names
Of those who creep out of the shadows
And reposition the frames

Beam me up, Scott McCaughey
Let's take The Minus 5 at warp factor 3
To a planet just like Earth, to a city like Madrid
To a place just like the Prado Gallery
We'll spend the day just looking at Las Meninas
Asking ourselves 'Who was that king? What was his name?
The one who let his family get in the way
Of the self-portrait Velazquez was painting?'

Wearing shades at night is never enough
Not exceptional skill or below zero cool at Minus 5 degrees
Can guarantee eternities of honour for our names

As Scott McCaughey and I have no doubt realised
History remembers the names
Of those who creep out of the shadows
And reposition the frames

Noah Brill

Well there's a kid in San Fransisco
Who has really got the moves
And when he dresses up as Batman
He can fly across the roofs

Well he's only three years old
And he is less three feet tall
But when he flies across the sky
You'll see he's really got it all

Little Noah Brill
Little Noah Brill
Well he can fly just like a blackbird
Sing just like a nightingale

Little Noah Brill
Little Noah Brill
Well you ain't seen anything like him
And I know you never will

He likes to take his stuffed dog Fluffy
To the Golden Gate Park
To hunt with Ethan and Sarah
For tarantulas

And when he needs a bit of sushi
For the strength to fight his foes
His personal chef Tagashi
Makes him avocado rolls

Little Noah Brill
Little Noah Brill
Well he can fly just like a blackbird
Sing just like a nightingale

Little Noah Brill
Little Noah Brill
Well you ain't seen anything like him
And I know you never will

Keith Haring's Radiant Baby
He finds totally dope and phat
Like the KidPix animations
He does on his G3 Mac

He loves his mom and daddy
And he loves to stay up late
And when they say 'Get to bed you monkey!'
He say 'I no monkey, I wide awake!'

Little Noah Brill
Little Noah Brill
Well he can fly just like a blackbird
Sing just like a nightingale

Little Noah Brill
Little Noah Brill
Well you ain't seen anything like him
And I know you never will

Little Noah Brill
Little Noah Brill
Well he can save the world like Batman
With his six Buzz Lightyear dolls

Little Noah Brill
Little Noah Brill
Well you ain't seen anything like him
And I know you never will

Little Noah Brill
Little Noah Brill
Well his dad is Mr Michael
And his mom is Jenny Doll

Little Noah Brill
Little Noah Brill
He's going to save the world like Batman
Though he's still just very small

Shawn Krueger

It's been hell to keep this secret for so long
The fact that Shawn wants to propose to you in a Stars Forever song
And Emily, for all I know you may already know
I had to open my big mouth
To Spin and Rolling Stone, didn't I?
I tried to keep this secret on my own, but how could I?

When I told you I was born to be adored
I never thought one day I'd find myself kneeling at your door
A bunch of plastic roses from a funny one-eyed man
Even this one knee I'm on
Is another man's, Emily
I'm your sinister gorilla kissogram, Emily

Photographs are prototypes of memories
Memories are better than the truth
Promises and facts are often enemies
Emily, that's the story of my youth

Marriage, though I seemed to get it wrong
Can be beautiful, believe me
As lovely as a song
And Emily, for all I know your answer may be no
But if you go that road, Shawn
Will be lonesome for so long
Though my chance has been and gone
I'd still do it all again with anyone

It's been hard to keep this secret for so long
But not as hard as being a Carpenter or a friend of Elton John
And under my disguise, a gorilla kissogram
Beats a heart that's warm
But the heart belongs to Shawn
I've been trying to take your breath away
For a better man
Emily
Marry him

Karaoke Parody Competition Winners

New Flame, Same Old Story
Christian Carl

I went with my new flame
To the city zoo
To watch the animals
Shit and screw

I said 'Look at the turtles
Fucking like rabbits'
She called me a perve
So I squeezed her tit

She slapped my face and said
'Take me home!'
When I dropped her off
She said 'Please don't phone!'

She said not to call
So I typed her a letter
I can't speak for her
But it made me feel better

Hippos shit on hippos
They respect
So when I shit on you
Take it like a hippo

Apes pick at apes
They admire
So when I pick at you
Baby I'm full of desire

If you were a hippo
Or an ape
You'd be the perfect
The perfect mate

Instead you're a person
A sore tit you're nursing
Cos you just can't relate

Not Intended For Children
Bill Hardy

Ladies and gentlemen
This song is not intended for children

He's a bit risque
Not the least bit gay
(In the happy way)
Ping pong he plays
He wrote 'Space Jews'
And 'The Cabriolet'
But he won't grope us
The hippopotamomus

With advisories of explicit language
On every album
The censors are kept at bay

Singing
Mo-mo-mo-mo-mo Momus isn't gay

He's a voyager
Somewhat sinister, sir
A conquistador
With an analog synthesiser
Powdered wig
Hides a devil's haircut
When bubblegum and glam rock reigned
A young Momus dug the J5
And Jane Birkin's shapely legs

Singing
Mo-mo-mo-mo-mo Momus isn't gay

With a Mini Moog
He can be lewd
Most of his songs
Are not intended for children
Where the Zeppelin flies at your command
Dr Robert Moog made the Moog he plays
And then it came
A song from Bill from Maine

Coming On An Intern's Dress
Mr Kate Jenkins

Tell me what's the political meaning
Of coming on an intern's dress
Do I wish to document each sexual conquest
Or to lead the press on the trail of my sticky mess
Or just to splatter creamy stars and stripes across her chest

Or is this a hot demonstration of my big erection
Some show of presidential spunk
Or maybe Nature's call to commander in chief
To spread the royal seed across the nation
Is this really incredibly universally significant newsworthy sex
Or masturbation?

That could be it
But either way
Just give me
Some fabric to come on
To show you're the favourite
In my harem

Nicky My Friend
Diego Zapparoli and Paola

I'd like to suck your cock
From its bottom to its top
Oh but please don't get me wrong
Think of it as a reward
You might think I'm crazy but I hope you don't

I'm just grateful for all of your songs
So full of witty quotations

How should I call this fever burning in me while they play?
Intellectual titillation?

Nicky my friend, my english teacher once asked me where did I learn
The notions I put in my homework, in particular those kinky words
I don't think I replied, though both you and I know where all that comes from
It's no mystery and no secret
I just get them from your songs
I'd like to suck your cock
I'd get rid of my skirt and tweak my own nipples
While holding the microphone
Beggars the imagination truly
But I guess that making this would soon turn me
Into the wittiest of the groupies

Mr Jones
Jack Curtis Dubowsky

Bob Dylan at the height of his fame
Was overly obnoxious again and again
He put down poor Donovan
Tell us Bob why really pick on Donovan
Dylan replied 'He's an upstart
He's cuter and sings better than me
It's not so hard to picture him
With his flower in a garden
That banana ain't a gold record
And his songs all have the melody
I hear in my sleep'

Bob Dylan past the height of his fame
And overly obnoxious he remained
Speaking through his nose
Tell us, Bob, who really picks out your clothes

Dylan himself a Space Jew
With a big house out in Malibu
Wasn't keeping up with the new wave scene
(Probably just as well)
Although he no longer needed to be so evasive
About that elusive Mr Jones

He's a real person, you know him
You don't have to be so imaginative
The answer is blindingly obvious

Mr Jones is a man
Who doesn't know who Howard Jones is

The Taste Of Pink Champagne
El Topo

I love the taste of pink champagne
Open it baby I can do it all again
Open it baby
Love, a viscious game
Love a little insane
Tell you what
I'll take your name
I will pop it on the spreadsheet called
Old flames

When I was a very young boy
I didn't want to fly or drive a train
Once I'd start I'd never stop
My daddy kept a bottle hidden
Cried when mother poured it down the drain
He never touched a drop
Of pink champagne

Open a box of bendy straws

I love that pink it starts to bubble when you touch it
Rises to the top and I can't stop
Till it fucks me in the brain
More pink champagne!

Well I drank it with some dancing girls in Rio
And I drank it with an angel on cocaine
I'd even drink it from a dog bowl someone left out in the rain
And I'll drink it making movies in a studio that's stained

And I'll drink it till the world explodes
And all that there remains
Is the taste of pink champagne

Onan The Barbarian
Richard Knowles

What is the cultural meaning of coming in an old sock
Have I found my true vocation: bespoke tailor to my cock
Or is it just to dress my deepest naked fantasies in wool
That eco-friendly outfit that's machine rewashable

Or is it crude association, if the shoe fits wear it?
Well you know what they say about big feet

Or is it Onan The Barbarian saying
'No soft tissue paper can hold me
I'm the woolf dressed as the shepherd leading a fleeced flock of tumescent sheep
To masturbation'

Alone on the stage
But even one-act plays need rehearsal

So look to the lights
Pump, soliloquise
And when crystallised
Apply Persil

Suggestion To Jealous Men
Olivier Schopfer

Mr Brown's wife was so beautiful
That he locked her in every morning before going to work
Jealousy of course was his motive
But what if his wife watered her plants with an open hand?
What if she talked to her flowers for hours?
What if she smiled at the television screen?
What if she kept staring at the walls
And looking at herself in the mirrors?
What if she stroked the door handle?
What if she walked barefoot on the kitchen floor?
Mr Brown you'd better pull your whole house down
Before locking your wife in it

Index